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I have a really hard time doing anything for myself. I am constantly afraid that I am being selfish or that people will see me that way, and it makes life so much harder. I can't seem to do things to make myself happy and it makes me and the people around me miserable but I still feel so much shame when I decide to do what's right for me. Anyone else feel this way? Or have any ideas on what I can do to help stop it?
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Anxiety (Including GAD)
Chest pain
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I used to work as a first responder. They always told us that it is important to put our safety first. You can't help someone if you get hurt. Same thing goes in day-to-day life. You need to put yourself first. It can be hard but it is essential.
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To clarify, it is definitely nice and important to do nice things for others, but don't forget about yourself in the process.
@Crescent_Moon it's not that i forget myself it's that i have that sinking feeling in my gut whenever i do something for myself- it's like the discomfort of that is almost worse than choosing something for me is good
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@ray64 oh, that sounds like you don't feel like you deserve to do things for yourself that will be good for you?
I think I can understand where you're coming from and I have experienced some of those things before. What do you feel like makes it hard for you to do things to make yourself happy?
@Crescent_Moon it is hard to convince myself that it is worth the effort when that effort could be put into making myself more appealing to others. i know i should feel more love towards myself but i feel the need to be wanted and needed so i put what i think they would want first.
@ray64 It is definitely worth the effort to do things to make yourself happy, within reason - depending on what it is. You are wanted and needed even if you might struggle to feel that from others. All you need is to be yourself and ofc be nice to people and you'll probably find some like-minded individuals. From what I understand, it isn't healthy to do things just to please others, regardless of whether or not it is well intentioned.
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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