Dealing with a friend who can't handle my negativity

It sounds like she’s trying to set a strong boundary with you to protect her peace, and so she doesn’t react to negativity. I don’t think anyone is wrong here, it’s just a situation where both of you have needs to be met that are a little at odds with one another. Your feelings are valid, regardless of the situation. You’re allowed to feel resentful and upset; you’re allowed to be worried about how this will affect your relationship. It’s actually totally normal for things to change in relationships over time as we learn more about ourselves and what works for us. It’s not easy to see that in a positive or neutral light if change is typically a scary thing for you. Nothing has to be ruined. It’s ultimately your decision to remain friends or not with this person. It sounds like they’re trying to meet you with what they have, and they want to give you there best, and it’s okay if that’s not going to work for you. It’s important to find your peace, and respect your feelings as well. Take your time to try and accept these feelings with nonjudgement. Get curious about what these feelings are saying to you. As for what you can say, it’s also perfectly okay to just express “hey, I was really confused by your actions (i.e. leaving without explaining), can you help me understand why you did that?” Or whatever you’re looking to understand from the interaction, really. Your feelings are important, and I think this person would want you to be honest with them as they were with you. We all process differently, and when you find someone willing to take the time to understand, you get a deeper connection. It can be stressful or scary, but it’s worth it.

I wouldn't "hate to say" your honesty, ever. As I was reading I put myself in your place, and could only imagine feelings of abandonment. Although from the other side of the fence, I can see her need to take care of herself also. Sounds like she feels like she has given you all the help she knows, and might be feeling helpless as your friend. So this is her way of still being a helpfull friend, but protecting herself at the same time. I think you should take things as they are for now. Continue the friendship until things work themselves back to what it was.

In general, when a friend doesn’t respond to a cry for help, it’s a sign that they are having a problem, not that they don’t care about you. We can’t always be there for our friends; could you have supported your friend with her problems while you were in your active suicidality? The bigger our support system, the more likely we are going to be able to receive support right away. If you find you are needing more support than you are getting, maybe try to outsource some of the asks you normally want from your friend to another person(s)? That’s just one piece of advice. Sounds like you both have coping skills that will help maintain your friendship through hurting each other. (Which is bound to happen sometimes) I see that you both are aware of your selves and empathetic to your friend as well. And you’re decent at communicating. Just keep having these honest conversations and your relationship will only grow stronger from here.

You're both entitled to your emotions. Depression is hard, definitely. Helping someone through depression can be just as difficult and draining, because you cant help somome you care deeply about. It's no one's fault. You can't blame them for not being able to always handle it. But they made it clear they still want to support you. In my opinion you need a better ground of communication with them, especially about the boundaries of what they can and can't handle. And perhaps look for another source of support such as a therapist so that you have time to make happy memories with your friend and not just take them as a support system. Give yourselves both time to relax and resolidify your friendship

i don't blame you for feeling a little resentment, I do think she might be a little wrong for how she communicated (or didnt) with you. leaving you hanging w/o explanation, especially when you're going through a hard time, is not the best show of being a friend that cares about your well being. i understand needing some distance for your own mental health, but it's okay to communicate that and then support from a far.

I 100% know how you feel because this happened to me many times. The bottom line is a true friend stays with you through thick and thin. But on the other hand I completely understand not wanting to be around the negativity too much because I was also on the other side of this situation as well when one of my friends were depressed. I’d say it was wrong for her to completely avoid you with no explanation. I think a conversation should have been had. You can distance yourself from a friend that is causing you to feel too negative but never desert them. They’re needs to be understanding on both parts. Understand it’s hard to be around someone who speaks and acts negatively but also friends shouldn’t completely avoid one another and with no explanation.