i honestly do wanna be with someone…im not like desperate but I just miss having that genuine connection with someone, being able to be myself, have late night talks, a sholder to cry in yk? i try to put myself out there but i dont wanna force anything…idk :/
I know how that feels and it honestly sucks, I still haven't found someone myself but if you ever need to talk or want advice I'm here.
yea it really does- but thanks appreciate it!
sometimes i crave romantic relationships but then sometimes i’m very thankful i don’t have one because i don’t have enough time to do everything for myself and someone else. i feel like it would be unfair for me to be in a relationship when i haven’t yet found balance in my relationship with myself.
this is also a struggle of mine and is exactly why i broke up with my ex 2yrs. i wish i never did but being in a relationship while still dealing with major depression was so much for me to handle and i didn’t wanna put so much on them.
Omg I miss late night talks so much. I have been avoiding binge dating, bc rn I just feel so icky about myself that I can't really get into anything without feeling like, oh this person is settling for me, so I gotta make myself better without another person first
i did binge dating alot at one point but it really did hurt my self esteem. i swear bettering yourself “alone” is like a relationship you can never leave, my progress is all over the place
I understand! A lot of the time, I feel like I’ve used my mask to start relationships, so when I inevitably burn out, I seem like a totally different person. It sucks, because I want to have relationships that include the whole of me, but I’m also scared of both not being “enough” and/or being “too much”. I put those in quotes because they’re not really helpful ideas to have, but I know its still how I feel.
Do you find that any type of relationship could meet this need for you? Or does it feel like something you would want a romantic partner for? Since exploring polyamory, and understanding how I look at relationships of all kinds, I recognize that I would like to have a variety of people to go to when I have a social need to be met. But actually using those tools to support myself is another story altogether.
thats what i did alot, i masked. for a bit i never knew how it could affect the person im with but once i realized i ended up breaking up with them before it got to bad on my end(which isn’t the best either but i didn’t know how to handle it)
i feel like any type of relationship would could meet the need, tho i would prefer romantic or a qpr(which isnt super known tho). If you dont mind ofc, did those tools help you, whether it was big or small amounts?
being able to know when to end something is a valuable skill, even though it feels like a bad thing.
I definitely think having the options and reminders—outside of my rejection sensitivity—helps me use the social support of my friends, family, partner, and pals. I always find value in the time I spend with others, but it’s taken a lot of therapy to untangle the feelings of inadequacy I have about myself. I tend to default to being alone, because of sensory overwhelm, but the network of support I have does help give me something to reach out to in meeting needs. I just need a lot of reminders, usually from my therapist, that people are there for me. Did that answer your question?
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