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Kat_Ivy

569d

so I'm single and I hate it. it's just like I put my whole self in it because I have alot of love to give. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be good enough. then when someone breaks up with me then I don't really have anyone to talk to and just idk I hate being alone. Like I'm ready for a relationship and I have alot of love and attention and stuff to give it's just like it doesn't work out and stuff I guess..

Top reply
    • SA65

      560d

      @geezer this is amazing advice and I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I hope you see your value and I hope to do the same soon

    • PurplePenguinsPolka

      564d

      I totally relate to this. I give so much energy to my partner and then they just turn around and leave me like I'm not good enough

      • Sincerely

        564d

        @PurplePenguinsPolka and only after they've drained you dry always. Seems like when I get with a guy, they always get better and I'm worse. I just don't date anymore at all. It's garbage.

    • Sincerely

      564d

      I've always been alone. I totally understand. Now that I'm older, I wish I had just been a whore in my young days. Seems like they're the ones that the guys loved to marry and be unhappy with.

      • TheUglyDuckling

        562d

        @Sincerely I was like that too when I was growing up. I was shy and introverted. I had adhd and a family and disability benefits. I was pretty well taken care of. I didn’t need much. And sometimes I wonder if I’d put myself out there sooner if I would have been even happier and have resources I don’t now. But I look back and realize how lucky I was. People in relationships are often unhappy bc there are narcissistic and selfish and toxic people out there. You don’t want that grief. A lot of people would agree bc they’ve experienced nightmares and horror stories.

        • Sincerely

          562d

          @TheUglyDuckling I'd much rather be alone than unhappy. But of course, there are times when I'm lonely and would like a real person that I can hold genuine conversations with. Small talk just isn't enough sometimes..... But at the same time, I don't have anyone stressing me out and fussing at me all the time so I think that's a plus. I walked out of an abusive relationship years ago. I value my peace.

    • geezer

      565d

      I've been alone for longer than I care for. I used to spend months alone when I was really young. It helped me to tap into my creative side. I write music, stories, and do crafts. I won't lie, it's no substitute for the closeness shared in a relationship, but knowing how to enjoy time alone helps with enjoying time with others. Be careful not to mistake being with just anyone as a remedy for being alone. In my desperation, I married a woman who cheated on me on my wedding night when I was sent overseas. It messed me up for relationships that followed. Then I was with a woman who was incapable of giving what I needed. Still I stayed with her for 24 1/2 years, in spite of being mistreated, physical and mental abuse, cheating and the lies, all in an effort not to be alone. I've been alone for years now, no, friends, most of my family passed away. On days when I feel lonely, I try to remember that I have to enjoy the world around me and be at peace with that. Finding self worth is far more important and beneficial than any relationship will. No one can see your value until you do. You are young and time is on your side. Don't be in a hurry.

      • SA65

        560d

        @geezer this is amazing advice and I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I hope you see your value and I hope to do the same soon

      • TheUglyDuckling

        562d

        @geezer very good advice. At least you seem to be independent and know how to work and find people. You should be fine. Me on the other hand, I have never worked. I’ve been disabled and living on benefits from the government most of my life. And I’ve always had my family so I never really needed or cared for relationships and now they’re dying and I’m broke and it’s scary.

    • SkylerRose

      567d

      Honestly, I stayed single or emotionally absent until I was ok with my own company. Start giving yourself that love, you deserve it. Be the love to yourself you wish you could have, and then maybe it will come to you

      • salt

        566d

        @SkylerRose to add, being able to be comfortable within your own solitude is an attractive quality that people will notice too :) I’m very clingy to my boyfriend and I always jump to relationships feeling like I can’t be by myself. I’ve been learning more to. Do what you want for yourself first, and everything else falls into place

        • TheUglyDuckling

          562d

          @salt also there is nothing wrong with being lonely or clingy. It’s human nature to socialize and connect. Don’t judge yourself.

    • Jordan23

      567d

      For me my dream is basketball and I try to focus on that but everytime I see a single girl that's actually attractive I want to just start flirting

    • River711

      568d

      I struggled a lot with relationships, everytime I got broken up with I always jumped the gun into a new one because I couldn't be alone. My last relationship ended last year and him and I were together for two years, it was the hardest thing ever and ever since I haven't been able to get into a new relationship, I've focused myself on my career and life and have become a lot more successful, and I've learned that even if you feel your ready for a relationship, and you may not actually be, then it won't happen. If you focus on your success and life and learn to put that love you have for others, towards yourself, you will find that finding a healthy relationship comes naturally and the right person will come at the right time

    • Jordan23

      569d

      I had someone I liked she dumped me after 4 month's of dating then I tried to move on and it feel like I still want her but now I just want anyone

      • Kat_Ivy

        568d

        @Jordan23 yeah I have that same problem and it just feels like I'll settle for someone as long as they can put up with me and stuff like that

        • Jordan23

          567d

          @Kat_Ivy I tried to settle and I just cant

    • TheUglyDuckling

      569d

      I’ve never really related to the whole dating life thing like everyone else, but my family is slowly dying due to old age now and I’m finally starting to understand what everyone has been talking about so I am actually starting to relate to this stuff for once. It’s scary when you have no one and the world beats down on you. Everyone thinks I’m perfect and have it all and I tell them all the time that’s just not true. I’m in the same boat as them now and it’s kind of sad actually. I get where they’re coming from now. Work and bosses and dating and loneliness and all that. I get what they were talking about now. I’m sorry about what you’re going through. I guess just set boundaries and don’t settle and put yourself out there. Either online or in healthy places. Not bars. That’s not healthy. And don’t just get swept off your feet by just anyone being nice to you either.

      • TheUglyDuckling

        569d

        @TheUglyDuckling Oh, forgot to mention. Also have a clear list of the type of person you want and also the healthy kind of relationship you want with that person. It’s nice to be organized about your dreams. Helps make a clear vision.

        • Kat_Ivy

          568d

          @TheUglyDuckling yeah I have problems with that because I kinda go with the flow or oversexualize myself

    • TaetaeRyn

      569d

      Try focusing some of that love you have on yourself~ I know from personal experience that relationships, no matter how great they are, can’t last of your partner is the only one that loves you. You have to love yourself too, which means learning how to be alone with yourself and not hate it. I still want more than anything to be in a loving relationship, but I’m learning what I can do on my own that makes me happy. It’s not fair, and I wish for both of us that we could find love in someone else first, but the world is cruel that way. Still, it’s not hopeless. Recognize what makes you worthy of love and give it to yourself—that’s the first step.

    • Swerve

      569d

      I'd love to banter about why dating is terrible. I'd also like to find someone. Is your mom single?🙏

      • Kat_Ivy

        566d

        @Swerve my mom is not single she is married. But I tend to like older guys.

    • SA65

      569d

      I relate to this so hard. I have my ex all my love and caring and he cheated on me and it has me questioning my worth when it’s really not me at all. We will have our time and person ❤️

      • Nal

        567d

        @SA65 me too my boyfriend cheated on me a little bit ago I gave him another chance but it really destroyed my heart I’m trying to heal nd make it work with him but I still think about it every day

        • SA65

          560d

          @Nal how can you not?? You gave this man your heart and he didn’t keep it safe

      • Kat_Ivy

        569d

        @SA65 like I'm impatient but I also don't like being alone and I just have alot of love to give I prefer being in a relationship and loving on someone and like giving them alot of my time and attention since I usually have alot of time on my hands

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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