Living with Chronic Suicidal Ideation

So I guess I will just dive into this. I've been in and out of being suicidal since I was 8 years old. I am now 33. At any point I have a 100 different ways in my head to off myself on any given day. it doesn't matter what the day is like good/bad/netural. I've tried explaining this to therapist, friends/family etc. I've also tried to explain the difference between chronic suicidal ideation and actually being suicidal. Despite this... they all still treat me like they're doing everything they can to keep me alive. At the end of the day though it has nothing go do with them. While their actions may irritate my symptoms they don't make my choices or actions. I wish they could just accept there is always this part of me that doesn't want to be here. I find it so frustrating that part can't just be without people trying to erase it or make it better. It doesn't mean I am going to act on it but it is there nonetheless.