Struggling with the urge for revenge

Ugh yes!

I feel this way too.

Yes I struggled with wanting revenge in the situation with my child's father and it was severed to him twice. The first time after I left and he was dated a wonan younger than me and she left him while he was dealing with DCYF in New Hampshire for I daughter got taken and he was still fighting on his own for custody of her . The court had the right decision in terminating his rights to her so she could be adopted. He was still fighting for her after I surrended my parental rights to her in April 2013.

Oh absolutely, on the daily. I dream about the day all of my siblings are safe and out of the house so that I can wreck that man's life

The idea of revenge against my abuser is what kept me going for years. Don't get me wrong it was definitely not the healthiest time in my life. But as long as it's not consuming you, not all anger is toxic. There are no such thing as wrong feelings. You are allowed to want your abusers to hurt. It doesn't make you a bad person. If it's genuinely messing with your life, try writing down what you're feeling, what you want to happen. Writing something down is a way to manifest it and get it out of your head without actually acting on something. Punching pillows and pretending has helped me, too.

I just struggle with wanting people to know the truth, what's happening behind the scenes. Not so much revenge, but justice- the truth known. Gaslighting is the worst ;(