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fleurdemeraude

532d

I’m so conflicted. I feel like being raised Christian and just morally speaking, that everyone should be allowed to be happy, except bad people. But what exactly constitutes a bad person? Usually, my mind goes towards rapists, abusers, bullies, murderers, etc. there are of course exceptions, like for those who are truly sorry, trying to change, and become an actual decent human being. I have not had that reconciliation from anyone. I had nightmares about my abusers and did the thing looked ex abusers up on social medias and saw one bought a house. Another recently dropped an album. It just pissed me off. Like they get to move on with life and celebrate and be happy while I have tried to do that as well but the trauma detracts from that. I can’t find any forums or answers on Google if these feelings are valid and I just feel crazy for feeling like they don’t deserve to be happy because of what they did to me

    • Pisforpotato

      527d

      As a Christian myself, it is very difficult to not get into the mindset of seeking retribution, vengeance, and justice. However, sometimes, those are not going to happen on our terms. I am not by any means saying that they won’t happen because I fully believe they will. God is omnipotent, and he protects his people, even if that means punishing those who are not His, or even those who ARE His. My view is that God and Karma walk hand-in-hand everyday, and I know I am being looked out for. Thankfully, I don’t have to bear the burden of ensuring justice is served because it WILL be served at the right moment. I just have to keep bettering myself every day and validating the way I feel. Knowing that, I am completely capable of showing others that I am good, thanks to God, and the others will get what they deserve. I can be just as successful and doing just as well as they are, but it might not be in the exact same ways. I may not have a house, but I certainly have the ability to be a kind and loving human being, which is likely something they may never have. And in that same respect, I would guarantee you are not the only person that feels this way toward them. With all that evidence, God and Karma will do something about it. Romans 2:7-8, Proverbs 11:21, Isaiah 3:11, Romans 12:19, and plenty more are great reminders of this. With all that being said, I just like to remind myself that God will take care of me and will relieve my worries and stress of feeling like I need to seek revenge because my revenge would be nothing compared to His. Those “successful” people WILL have a downfall, and it will likely hit them hard. My theory is that God allows them all these great and wonderful things to increase their ego and feelings of greatness and invincibility just to later take it from them to remind them that they are not the ones in control. I don’t have proof of that, but that’s how I perceive it. Hopefully this may help a little bit. If you’d like further conversation or encouragement, I’m here🙂

      • fleurdemeraude

        519d

        @Pisforpotato oh my goodness I appreciate your well thought out and well said reply! Apologies cause i didn’t get notifications. I read this last night and it really helped me think about it in a better light. I love that you said karma and God work hand in hand too! That’s a great perspective and I agree!

    • EliteLexy

      527d

      Your feelings are always valid, you just have to use them to find what it is that you need to find your peace. Our feelings are very important and too many people ignore them entirely These abusers? They don't matter. What they did to you was wrong and I am not reading in your post that there were apologies. It is okay to be angry and it is okay to have hope for them or forgive them, etc. That is your choice alone though. Lastly, you deserve peace. Whether they do or not is just noise. If you are like me, it will bother you from time to time but a counselor helped me immensely when mine got picked up close to my hometown and made all of the local news🤦‍♀️😣 Since then, I have went through an onslaught of emotions, but I have been sitting in a much more peaceful place. I don't know if forgiveness is in the cards, but I am better because of the guidance I had to sort through all of my emotions and such.

      • fleurdemeraude

        519d

        @EliteLexy I love this response!! Thank you for your insight. Also sorry I didn’t get notifications until a whole week later? 👀

        • EliteLexy

          519d

          @fleurdemeraude if you ever need to chat, feel free to message me. My abuser is in prison but his local family members continue to kidnap, abuse and other atrocities around here. You are not alone. Please always remember that, as the trauma and PTSD can wreak a lot of havoc on us.

        • EliteLexy

          519d

          @fleurdemeraude no problem! I am glad some of my words could help❤️

    • KittyKat7

      527d

      I think the issue is confusing mental illness with Moral punishments. Your issues are not God punishing you. This is just a reaction to what happened to you. Put yourself in the forefront of what you focus on. Focus on you doing the right thing and you feeling better. It sounds cliche but the grass really does look greener on the other side. You have no idea what's going on inside those people's heads.

    • Derek20

      527d

      I'm not sure that an internet forum is the right place to talk about what you feel. I think maybe you should try to talk to a professional like a psychologist, he will be able to help you process your feelings and reach meaningful solutions for you.

      • fleurdemeraude

        519d

        @Derek20 absolutely! My therapist is on maternity leave and I’m scheduled for next month when she’s back :)

      • KittyKat7

        527d

        @Derek20 Well, there's no harm in doing both. This should be a safe space to vent as well

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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