I'm not sure that an internet forum is the right place to talk about what you feel. I think maybe you should try to talk to a professional like a psychologist, he will be able to help you process your feelings and reach meaningful solutions for you.

Your feelings are always valid, you just have to use them to find what it is that you need to find your peace. Our feelings are very important and too many people ignore them entirely These abusers? They don't matter. What they did to you was wrong and I am not reading in your post that there were apologies. It is okay to be angry and it is okay to have hope for them or forgive them, etc. That is your choice alone though. Lastly, you deserve peace. Whether they do or not is just noise. If you are like me, it will bother you from time to time but a counselor helped me immensely when mine got picked up close to my hometown and made all of the local news🤦‍♀️😣 Since then, I have went through an onslaught of emotions, but I have been sitting in a much more peaceful place. I don't know if forgiveness is in the cards, but I am better because of the guidance I had to sort through all of my emotions and such.

As a Christian myself, it is very difficult to not get into the mindset of seeking retribution, vengeance, and justice. However, sometimes, those are not going to happen on our terms. I am not by any means saying that they won’t happen because I fully believe they will. God is omnipotent, and he protects his people, even if that means punishing those who are not His, or even those who ARE His. My view is that God and Karma walk hand-in-hand everyday, and I know I am being looked out for. Thankfully, I don’t have to bear the burden of ensuring justice is served because it WILL be served at the right moment. I just have to keep bettering myself every day and validating the way I feel. Knowing that, I am completely capable of showing others that I am good, thanks to God, and the others will get what they deserve. I can be just as successful and doing just as well as they are, but it might not be in the exact same ways. I may not have a house, but I certainly have the ability to be a kind and loving human being, which is likely something they may never have. And in that same respect, I would guarantee you are not the only person that feels this way toward them. With all that evidence, God and Karma will do something about it. Romans 2:7-8, Proverbs 11:21, Isaiah 3:11, Romans 12:19, and plenty more are great reminders of this. With all that being said, I just like to remind myself that God will take care of me and will relieve my worries and stress of feeling like I need to seek revenge because my revenge would be nothing compared to His. Those “successful” people WILL have a downfall, and it will likely hit them hard. My theory is that God allows them all these great and wonderful things to increase their ego and feelings of greatness and invincibility just to later take it from them to remind them that they are not the ones in control. I don’t have proof of that, but that’s how I perceive it. Hopefully this may help a little bit. If you’d like further conversation or encouragement, I’m here🙂