Struggling with Impulse Control: Need Suggestions

I am struggling with impulse control. Specifically, I am struggling to stick to my diet (I have a slow metabolism, so while even 'cheating' rarely takes me over 1500 calories, I need to cut back more to lose weight), masturbating (I apologize for TMI), and talking too much. I have struggled with these my whole life and am in a state of despair over it now. I am currently trying "social eating". The rules are pretty simple. I eat a moderate portion at social functions and on date nights and I can accept if my husband or children try to share a bite of food with me. I can also eat the appropriate food for a food-related holiday (even the silly ones like National Pizza Day)... Other than that, I stick to herbal tea with a small amount of cream, my vitamins, water, and flavored water as long as I am emotionally regulated, and if I am struggling with emotional regulation, eggs, bananas, extra B-vitamins and herbal supplements, and maybe a small spoonful of peanut butter are my go-tos (NOT all at once though, but I'll pick one of them)... but I keep eating when I feel hungry even though I know that will lead to nothing changing and me still being overweight and out of shape (I do exercise, but I never seem to see improvements in flexibility, strength, speed, muscle tone, or anything else). As for the masturbating, I am on the spectrum and also have PTSD which in part relates to a history of being sexually abused. I have compulsively masturbated since I was eight years old and am absolutely ashamed of myself but can't stop. I tried to kill myself over it when I was 11 by stabbing myself in the chest but I missed my heart and lungs and lived. I am 32, nearly 33 now and I hate myself for it. I've tried every method I could find to stop and haven't found one that works yet. Then there's overtalking. I try to make sure I only speak what is necessary and in appropriate situations but I still feel like I talk way too much and could get more done if I could stop. Most conversations are with my husband and last a couple hours after he gets off work (us sharing our days with each other, going over any issues we may be having, goofing off/joking around, and planning the next day)... As a child I was rarely allowed to speak at all and always told I was too loud and sounded like a Texas barely by my mom. I was frequently punished if I did speak. My mother is dead now and rather than being silent, I have developed an opposite problem that I feel is pushing people away. My apologies for being long winded but if anyone has any suggestions, I really need to hear them.