Life with an Eating Disorder: Struggles and Progress

I feel that calorie game. I feel like I can make people think I'm eating very confidently while eating socially but I'm so deep in my own head adding calories and considering macros. Glad to see that your surgery at least went well enough you're able to chat online. Hopefully things start getting better in regards to your fistula as that sounds like hell to deal with.

All that being said, I can eat socially for the most part. I do play a calorie game with my meals a lot still. I don't see how other people eat intuitively.

When I was 330 pounds, my life revolved around food. Now while I'm 225 pounds, my life still revolves around food. Only this time food control can be under the guise of a medically necessary diet. I believe I'm on day 936 of calorie counting. I've developed a lot of food allergies while being sick with a mound of health issues. And I've been dealing with a chronic fistula for the past two or three years as a result of laxative abuse and some immune suppressing meds. Today was actually my fifth corrective surgery for that.