I joined wrestling this year with the hope of becoming comfortable with my weight and a way to fight of my ED. I was wrong, and instead I feel I've just welcomed it back into my life after all of the work I've done to get better over the track and cross country seasons. last year, i tried recovering by myself and it didn't work so I reached out for help because it got so bad that I was being called into the guidance office at school frequently. all it did was get me yelled at by my mom and have her threaten to tell family members. I had never felt so alone. i feel a relapse coming now and I dont know how to help myself get better. or if I even want to get better.