Struggling with Chronic Pain and Fear of Losing My Livelihood

I'm struggling so hard with my mental and physical help... nothing's helping. I'm constantly in pain, I never have a moment of peace. I have torn my meniscus in both my knees, I've already had two knee surgeries replacing the tendon that holds your knee cap in place (all on the same knee) I see my surgeon tomorrow to go over my recent MRIs and try and make a game plan. I am so scared of what he'll say. I work and live on a small farm with my family and friends, I train and ride horses, manage a flock of sheep, ducks, geese, chickens, even rabbits. and of course barn cats and my own dog. if I can't ride anymore or do the work I love I don't know what I'll do... I'm so scared...