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So lately I’ve been having this issue with my husband whe...

Cece7

761d

So lately I’ve been having this issue with my husband where after my personal therapy sessions, he asks me how it goes but then only listens to me briefly for a few minutes before moving the conversation to something else or not really understanding the importance of me needing to discuss things from my sessions with him. Does anyone else experience this with other people (friends or people they’re in relationships with) just needing to talk about how something in therapy went but you feel like no one is really investing the time to listen to that? He’s not intentionally trying to disregard my emotions or anything but it’s still hard to know what to do in those situations where things just move on to a new topic and I’m not ready to move on but I’m also in a fragile state after therapy so have trouble saying things more up front about my needs in those moments. Any advice on what to do would be appreciated!

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    • Cece7

      760d

      @lilly109876 that’s interesting, I never think of listening as something you practice but that would make sense. He definitely proves his love in many ways and since I was In An abusive marriage before I know how good I’ve got things now. Just this one thing that drives me a little crazy right now! Haha. I’m going to do some research on that though. Thanks!

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    • lilly109876

      760d

      Hi~ I’m studying to be a music therapist and I can definitely say that listening is a skill. It’s probably not him brushing it over because it sounds like he loves you, he might just not be great at listening. I think it’s something you could totally bring up to him especially if you feel that he supports you

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      • Cece7

        760d

        @lilly109876 that’s interesting, I never think of listening as something you practice but that would make sense. He definitely proves his love in many ways and since I was In An abusive marriage before I know how good I’ve got things now. Just this one thing that drives me a little crazy right now! Haha. I’m going to do some research on that though. Thanks!

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    • JustRachelle

      761d

      Could it possibly be that he doesn’t know what to ask? Or say? It could be that he doesn’t want to overstep boundaries since therapy sessions are personal. I’m just thinking outside the box but it’s still a possibility. I think you should discuss how you feel with him.

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      • Cece7

        760d

        @JustRachelle that makes sense and could totally be part of it. I feel like people In general that I speak to don’t really know how to always communicate well on these areas with me so would make sense to think maybe he feels lost and not wanting to push too hard. Will definitely discuss things, just hard to think of how I want the conversation to go but these replies have helped me with collecting my thoughts so thank you!

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    • bomb

      761d

      sounds super invalidating…maybe try involving him in more of a conversation, so it’s less just listening and more interacting, staying engaged can help people pay attention

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      • Cece7

        761d

        @bomb that’s a good point! I also wonder because he is so supportive and respectful of me if maybe he has ADHD undiagnosed or something just because his lack of listening doesn’t seem to line up with his character in general like I know it’s not him trying intentionally hurting me or something .. but either way it still is hurting even if he is easily distracted and I guess hard to not take it personally!

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        • bomb

          761d

          @Cece7 i think it’s probably something along those lines, he probably just has a hard time staying focused, and/or continuously looking focused. I really care for my friends but after about two minutes of continuous talking i start to zone out. it’s not personal i just can’t absorb words like that. i also think that communicating the importance of this to him and problem solving together would be helpful too

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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