Struggling with Sensory Needs in My Relationship

I am really struggling with my relationship right now my partner and I are both on different ends of the spectrum when it comes to sensory needs I need more tactile and to talk when stressed and they need it quite and no hugging and it's it hard to get along right now my partner is the best on I've been with and I don't wanna lose them . I really don't know what to do anymore my other issues are getting worse too like I tried to self harm as a impulsive during a freak out last night I'm scared I'm pushing my partner away and this isn't there fault they also have a barrier when it comes to talking sometimes they have showed me more love and compassion them any of my exes put together in the past 3 months