Seeking Validation and Understanding for Bipolar Symptoms

So long but I have sooooo many questions from someone in similar situation as me. it’s jus like a roller coaster of explosive exhausting emotions sometimes I could cry like all night and even maybe even want to self harm other times and I feel like i could literally sleep all day and other times I’m so talkative and happy and want to accomplish everything to do with my goals and interests and I could keep going for hrs. Idk it’s just extremely tiring to deal with my emotions. I feel like no matter what I always go in phases. So I talked to my therapist about bipolar disorder and she believes I do have it and my doctor agrees due to my experiences and reactions to meds and we are planning to change my medication to a mood stabilizer but I’m out of town for a couple weeks! I guess i jus want more validation or understanding haha I have always had emotional issues but at like 19 I specifically remember jus breaking down or spiraling to the point that everyone and everything felt so dark and i felt like I couldn’t recognize my reflection or felt disconnected from myself and honestly i was sort of traumatizing in a confusing way. I got a bit better but would even feel like my brain was so overwhelmed it could explode.. At this point I’d never taken any medications about two years later I went to psychologist and was diagnosed with adhd adderall solved many other issues in my life and was life changing but I still would spiral and my emotions were still unbearable I also literally felt crazy sometimes when i took Adderall.so i would go through phases of taking it and not! Eventually i talked to my doctor about how bad my anxiety was and I tried so many meds some i had like bad reactions to antidepressant some made me happy for like a day and then didn’t work or made me sick and eventually fluoxetine was helpful I think at least it allowed me to feel less crazy on adhd meds but when they upped my fluoxetine dose i was literally historically crying.. i definitely still spiral and my emotions still cycle I can always expect another break down .i always have racing thoughts or anxiety and I thought this was cuz of meds. I’ve been on fluoxetine longer than a year and i stopped taking it recently but was still on adhd meds and life was so bright again and i felt like my adderall was working so well again. I always have had cycles of low to high but this one has been a big one way longer or more noticeable I can’t sleep I got like 4 hrs every night and want to jus keep working on stuff this week and I wake up and feel like tired inside my body but my brain and motivation is still there and I keep going like a motor. now I’m getting so irritable and overwhelmed with emotions. A couple weeks ago I could literally sleep on my adderall or caffeine, i know my adhd meds obviously contribute to this but i I’ve been on it for a couple years and I still have phases where my focus goes so well for a while and i hyper focus and other time I jus focus for a couple hrs. Overall what I’m trying to say is regardless of fluoxetine or adderall i still cycle through emotions and i can never be consistent. I guess i jus I want to know if I’m having a true manic episode or if it’s due to meds or what kind of manic episode.. hypo or if all along I’ve actually had manic phases or if it’s only happening because of adderall or fluoxetine Idk ive had episodes of spiraling since like age 18 I’m 24 now but I’m not an overall depressed person. Jus about a month ago i was like super low and overwhelmed with extreme emotion and slept so much while still on adderall:. Idk thoughts?