Recovering from Years of Abuse: Seeking Guidance

I was adopted into an abusive foster home, when I was 11, as the result of my parents abusing alcohol and each other. I witnessed domestic abuse, abuse of my siblings, and dealt with all kinds of abuse myself from 2-17. I am now 23 years old and I am lost. I feel behind people my age, because I did not have time to think about my future or my goals. I have been on anti-depressants for a long time and am still fighting nightmares and panic attacks. I am struggling to balance work, school, and taking care of myself as I have never been able to ground myself and find who I truly am. I maybe shower once a week because I work so much and struggle to care for myself or about myself. I spent so many days when I was a child, isolated in my room, crying for hours and cutting myself while contemplating taking my life. I know that there is a wonderful and strong individual inside of me that has so much to offer the world, but I have never seen her, and I don’t know how to undo the years of damage that I suffered. What do I do?