Permanent Brain Damage from Medication?

I think meds I took damaged and permanently changed my brain. Its been nearly 2 years since I took them. When I took them my brain stopped working and I developed mental issues. now I am still mental and horrible and have apathy. I took 3 brands of birth control on and off for a few weeks. My brain began feel very wrong with mood swings and major fog and rigid thinking, headaches. Then I took amitriptyline 10mg once and had mental break over it. I stopped sleeping for next 8 months. stopped functioning. then I took diazepam 2mg once. on another day pregabalin 25mg once. on 5 nights diphenhydramate 50mg and 5 nights zolpidem 10mg. I can sleep again now though but I feel suicidal very often and cannot connect with people, can't understand what I see in the world and can't function to do anything. I don't think or feel like I used to no matter what I do. I think I damaged my brain and I think about dying because of this. I used to be a nice person with do much love and wonder though no one will ever know that anymore looking at me now. I used to be anxious and have feel thoughts and feelings. now I don't and I am mean and can't think properly. I don't have energy to self harm though many months ago I hit my head with my hands. I just think to end my life sometime if the drugs did damage my brain. Its been a very long time. I think often its been too long to fix anything.