Parental Disbelief in Chronic Illness

It’s complicated for me. My mom has the same conditions that I’m in the process of getting my final diagnosis of and she’s extremely sick. For her she’s in denial and doesn’t want me to end up like her. In regards to other “adults” in my life they don’t get it. “I’m so young I just need to be positive and keep moving forward”

My parents understand I have an illness but they don't understand how it's effecting my future. They think I'll just get better and live a normal life. I just keep reminding them of my current state and worries on life. Sometimes you just have to tell them your fears...

It took several years and a heart attack for my dad to accept that this is forever, it's not going away, and it's not something he can pretend doesn't exist like he does with my autism. For your sake I hope you don't have to come uncomfortably close to dying before you're believed by your parent(s)

YES. well. Not a parent. Grandparents. *Trigger warning for miscarriage * A little back story. I was addicted to heroin and meth for 10 years and when I decided to get finally get clean for real and get my life back, I asked to move in with them because I wanted to leave the city I was in. I knew I would never get clean if I stayed where I was, around the people I was around. They were happy to take me in. Since I was using for so long, my mental illnesses I had prior to addiction weren't being treated and i had gained drug induced new ones. When I moved I was about 13 weeks pregnant and that was my main reason for wanting to get clean and get my life back together. I had already given custody of my first child to my parents because I new I couldn't give her the life she deserved while in active addiction (though I still had regular contact and calls with her. Say what you want, but i did what i thought was right and best for her at the time. My parents are very well off and they absolutely adore my daughter. I knew she wouldnt want for anything, be well taken care of, safe and loved.) and I didn't want to go through that again with this new baby. My family still wasn't happy I planned to keep the baby though. After I moved the baby's dad left me for someone else. Then after being clean for a month, I lost the baby due to a genetic anomaly. The doctor told me to give it a few days and see if my body "expelled" (awesome word to use huh?) the baby on its own. It did not. So I carried the baby knowing she was dead for a week. Then had an induction and gave birth to her. She fit in my hand. My grandpa told me he was happy and relieved I lost the baby. The next day, my grandparents had invited all these people over for what I can only describe as a grieving party, and I didn't want anything to do with it because every, "I'm sorry for your loss" was a kick in gut reminder. Or rather, a kick to the uterus. I just wanted to be alone to process. It had literally been less than 24 hours since I left the hospital. I was told I was selfish and the world doesn't revolve around me and me not wanting to be around all those people was a slap in the face to them. My grandparents had a premature baby that made it 2 months and passed. This was 40 years ago, so they "knew exactly how I felt" and I needed to get over it. (Sorry but having a preemie pass after 2 months and carrying and delivering a dead baby are both tragic, but two way different things) So all within one month, I had been dumped for someone else, lost my baby at 17 weeks. Had to carry and deliver her knowing she was dead, move away from everything, everyone, and everywhere I loved, my comfort zone, knowing I could never go back, stopped doing drugs, so I was also withdrawing badly, and my depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, paranoia, insomnia and PTSD were going through the roof. I seriously felt like I was insane. My grandpa told me I was faking for manipulation and If I would just go for a walk I wouldn't be depressed. Whenever something would happen that I wasn't comfortable with or was triggered my something, he would yell and scream in my face because i wasnt doing exactly what he wanted me to do and acting exactly how he wanted me to. He kept telling me "why arent you the way you used to be." (Meaning when i was 5) When I would say, "I need 15 minutes. I'm going to have a panic attack" and then try and walk away and go to my room, he would follow me, unlock my door, and corner me. And continue to scream in my face. I tried explaining what was going on with me. Why I could or couldn't do something. I tried to set boundaries. (I had started therapy right after I lost the baby and was trying to implement what I learned) And he would just trample right over them. I was told I'm not normal, the way I am doesn't work for them. I'm crazy and need to be on meds. I'm faking. I'm a manipulator. Let me just say, that yes. Addicts to tend to manipulate. But i decided to get clean, Any and all of that type of behavior went out the window because I desperately wanted to change. And I had NEVER stolen from or lied to my grandparents. To help myself I started taking methadone and getting therapy (group and individual) and I started taking medications to try and help my mental illnesses. I was doing 13 hours of sometype of therapy a week. And both my grandparents kept asking me "how long do you have to be like this" I was miserable every single day I spent in that house. And now they try and justify it by saying "we didn't know" I literally explained everything every way I could think of multiple multiple times. I tried implementing what i learned in therapy. We even tried family therapy twice. And despite both therapists being appalled at what they did to me, and trying to help them see what was happening was not okay, I'm still the monster. And they don't understand why I want NOTHING to do with them.

First of all, I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. I hope they will understand with time. Second, I have two parents in healthcare that I have had to tell many times that this is a disease that is incurable, but they think it will be in remission soon and most of the time. I think they do it out of kindness and positivity, but feels like they’re minimizing this awful thing I’m going through and I would rather them say “yeah this sucks you have an incurable disease and that’s super hard”.