It really sounds intense.. I think you're making your first steps toward getting better, DBT and CBT are good options to start with! I hope to hear about your experience throughout therapy and help as much as I can!

Hey I get intrusive thoughts too , worst than yours there’s something that changed my life I’ve been having them for a month and now I can say this is working , meditation once a day , but you need to drop the victim paper and become the prey of your thoughts, it’s hard but precious, the fear is gonna go away , and then the intrusive thoughts little by little you gonna see how you don’t get them as often , so everytime you get a trash thought you just need to say that is because anxiety, and let it flow breath with you stomach and do something that takes u to the present moment .