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am i a bad person for not wanting kids due to my mental illness? I can’t even take care of myself, i would feel awful bringing someone else into the world when i can’t even afford my own place, or handle myself.
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Depression
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You don't even have to use your mental illness as an excuse for not having kids. No one HAS to bring spawn into this world. And if you just feel like you don't want to have the responsibility and you'd just rather figure life out on your own time then you do that!! And maybe 10 years down the line you'll decide you want kids. That's cool too. I've struggled with this idea for a long time now that I'm married and I'm starting a life with my husband. But even though the normal flow is finish highschool, go to college, meet a partner, get a job, get married, have kids. Who says you have to follow the same path? Don't let anyone shame you for deciding not to have kids for whatever reason it may be you're allowed to make that decision. I'm mid 20s and my husband and I have decided not to have kids. The in laws are upset about it but we want to live selfishly, if we want to go on a spontaneous trip for the weekend it will be much easier without a child. And I don't want to have kids so "I'll have someone to take care of me when I'm older" that's not a good reason to have offspring. And I do feel guilty when it comes to the in laws but at the end of the day they aren't going to raise them so I'm not going to have a child for the sake of someone else's happiness. And they still will get grandchildren from the other siblings. And I may change my mind in like 5 years or maybe I won't. But for whatever reason don't feel guilty for making a decision that you have every right to make.
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You don't need any excuses for not wanting kids! It's a personal choice, nothing more
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Why would that make you a bad person? There are no laws stating women must bear and raise children. It's your decision dont ever think you are a bad person because of that!
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You don't need to have kids to have a satisfying & complete life
No, I actually feel the same way. My current boyfriend grew up with a mother who shit herself away and wasn't involved in his life even though she lived in his house. He wants kids in the future but I really don't. I'm afraid of giving them what he had growing up.
I'm pregnant right now and neither one of us have the mental health to do this. Idk what we were thinking. I feel awful for the baby. You're doing the right thing
@kittybee you’re gonna do an amazing job. 🫶
Not a bad person at all
You are ABSOLUTELY NOT 🚫 A BAD PERSON. You're actually a very kind and considerate person. Knowing yourself and your boundaries and not putting an innocent child into that mix is completely logical and should be complemented.
@Mad.Hatter thank you!!
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I totally feel that. Its why I know I won't want kids unless I feel better mentally. I think its possible one day to feel like I might be ready to care for another human.
You don’t need anything to justify your reason for not wanting kids. It may be in your specific case due to mental illness, however, if someone just simply doesn’t want to have a kid there’s no reason they should feel any guilt over that choice. If others have issue with it, that is their problem, not yours. They need to get over it and accept that you don’t want to have the same life as they do. What you are doing makes complete sense and you can do whatever you feel is right. You can change your mind at any time and it’s no one’s business what you want to do with your life.
@Cece7 thank you so much. i just feel bad because my mom is married to my stepdad and he always wanted kids but he didn’t get to have any, and if i don’t have a kid he’ll never have a grandkid ya know? i just feel guilty i guess
@Cvprisun I can understand that! Just remind yourself that you don’t need to take responsibility for the emotions that others are feeling because of your personal choices. This is your life to live, not theirs. I’m sure they would rather you be happy than to have a grandchild. At least that is how I would hope they would feel!
I really relate to this, and I don’t think this makes you a bad person. In fact I think it makes you kind and brave. I have a long history of severe mental illness on my dads side of the family. It’s definitely one of the contributing factors of my choice to not have children.
@Cheylo this made me feel so much better. thank you so much
Heck no! Thanks for being mature about it. I know I will be an awful parent so I dont want kids. Simple as that. Dont listen to societal standards of parenthood its dumb
@Lucas.exe totally agree! Honestly, there are already way too many people on this planet anyways
That's absolutely fine and in fact I think you're a better person for realizing you may not be able to care for a child properly. I'd rather never have kids than put them through hell because I cannot care for them due to my mental illnesses, like many parents do. And who knows, you may change your mind one day when you are stronger and have healed. Best of luck, stay strong!!
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Not at all. I’d actually say it’s mature to know if you aren’t cut out for it and more of a selfless act to decide not to than a bad thing. Illness has made me question whether or not I could handle kids as well - you’re not alone
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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