I can't have kids cause of my liver transplant

I have made it on many occasions that the entire family misses out on things because I didn't want to go.

I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I made the decision some time ago to not have biological kids due to my conditions. There are many other ways to build a family such as adoption.

sometimes i wonder if it’s child abuse to give someone my genes, especially when i can just adopt 💖

I have 5 boys...1 has ss...4 has the trait.

I had kids before I got sick. It’s was a challenge but they are all grown now.

My bf and I have been ttc for a year now and I recently had a chemical pregnancy. I was so excited because we're about to close on our house and the timing just seemed perfect and Ive been devestated about the loss. Between the stress and the sadness and the recent change with my meds (adding a mood stabilizer), Im so emotionally drained and its got me questioning whether or not i can handle being a parent if I cant even handle everything going on. Its so hard not to give up.😥

I worry about my youngest. She looks like me and is built like me. Her migraines and neck issues started in her early 20s. Mine in my early 40s. I am being looked at for Anklosing Spondylitis. It terrifies me for her.

❤️😥

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I used to really want children, to conceive them especially. I've done well enough to manage my health for several years now, but my reality has been flipped upside down the last few, especially the last few months. The more I'm diagnosed with, the more I feel I just can't. Not because my conditions would make me a "bad parent"; there are so many people that lead decent lives that work for them. I want to ensure that when my spouse and I share a life with a child, that it's as good as could be. Sadly if that were to be now or any time soon, I don't believe it would be in the best interest. I recognize things won't ever be perfect, but there's a lot to take care of for the foreseeable future. We won't completely resign ourselves to not having kids. Maybe we'll be parents later, albeit older. Still, it's been a struggle going from one end of the spectrum to the complete opposite.

I knew from an early age that I would not be able to have children. The conditions I have are the kind that I wasn't even supposed to live into my teen years. Dozens of major surgeries, high susceptibility to infection, residual damage, and constant pain are some of the reasons I just stay in my house. I don't date, it's so taxing on me, and I don't want to impose that on someone else. Years later I found out from my endocrinologist that if I ever was even able to get pregnant, renal hypertension would kill me and my baby within the first trimester. I have accepted all of that, and it doesn't get me down anymore. I chose a career where I could work in the medical field, and help a lot of people. When my illnesses became too severe for me to even work at all, which has been over 12 years, I just have to be thankful for the good days, and power through the bad ones. The phrase "it is what it is" pretty much describes my life. However, I have not chosen to give up. Yes, I have long bouts of depression, but I come out of those. There have been too many miracles happen for me to "give up". If you look for the blessings and the miracles in your tragedies and trials, you WILL find them. 🙏 God bless us all.

Oh my goodness this is such a big question I still haven't found an answer to. I've wanted to have biological kids but I'm not sure if my body could handle it (especially with a bleeding/blood clotting disorder and lupus.) I'm happy to adopt but worry about my fatigue. TW: i talk about ableism. But I think it's a larger question that involves ableism. For example, Im pro-choice but there are still a lot of people who wish not to have babies with certain conditions such as down syndrome, autism, etc and that feels a bit like... eugenics? You know what I mean? It's a fine line, because it's not like disabled people don't deserve to be here--its just the life we would be bringing them into has really bad support and care. But that's for any child as well, we have to think about how to change conditions like climate change and policies 😥

One of my conditions is infertility, so my family planning has been affected pretty profoundly.

When I was younger I wanted kids. But as I grew up and basically had a rough childhood and teenagehood I decided I wanted no kids. And I found a person that wanted no kids too and with all the issues I have it wouldn't be fair to pass down the genes I have to the next generation and with mental health illness I have it wouldn't be fair to the child I could have to be like in and out of a mental health place because I'm not stable enough. And then with my diabetes and other genetic things I have, I dont want that child to have and potentially passing it to her as a baby I rather not. I could adopt. But with my unique relationship I have plenty of times to babysit and be around kids so I don't need biological kids. I also have 3 wonderful nephews. 1 I get to talk to all the time. 2 I get to talk few times a year. And I am sure my other siblings will have kids when they are ready. So I am good. It hasn't affected me as much.

I want to adopt, but I would love to have a baby and I worry about the ethics of infant adoption

Luckily, I had my daughter before I had my second manic episode. In college I had my first episode, and I probably should have been diagnosed then. I went years before I had the right doctor who intervened, and it was after I had her.

I barely think I'm going to be able to have a long term relationship, in part because of my chronic illness. Having a child when I could potential pass my condition onto them congenitally or just sentencing them to have a sick parent is too much for me to bare. No kids for me unless something huge changes.

My whole family is messed up genetic wise. So having kids that were different wasn’t a problem in my life. My oldest has severe adhd, a few speech disorders, and is mentally 3 to 4 years younger than her age. The next one has poor eye sight just like her aunt. One got the common cold at 3 days old and now has a compermised immune system and severe asthma. The four was born blind for the first 5 months but now is perfectly health. The last will be here in august. I love that my family is different. I did get them all genetic testing young and they don’t seem to have any markers that other family members have but even me and my brother and sister are so vast in our health problems. So it could be anything.

i’ve always said I’m far too tired to have any kids of my own. nearly everybody has told me that, at 18, they didn’t want kids either and that I’ll almost definitely change my mind someday.

I decided too have kids but I don't think I could physically carry another it made my Eds and chronic nausea worse but my daughter was worth it

My partner and I are going to start trying in the next couple years for a baby, but if I can’t conceive by 30/31 I’ll be having a hysterectomy. He’s accepted that there’s a possibility of no kids, but we both would at least like to give it a try

I have mild rett syndrome and have been told that if I have kids in the future I could pass it down to them.

I currently don’t have the endurance to have a job, go to school full time, stay at family events. I know that I’ll want kids eventually, but I don’t have the energy for such a commitment. I hope that one day I’ll be well enough to foster though

My conditions have caused hospital and doctor bills so high my bf doesn't want to have a kid until a lot of it is taken care of. I'll also need to find alternate meds if I try, since I'm pretty sure my pain medicine, antidepressants and anxiety and bipolar meds can't be taken if I'm trying

I’m afraid to ever become a parent unless I get well.

I full on placed my first born (& only child to date) into adoption bc I was mentally immature and delayed because of my metal illness. Actually, to say it out loud for the first time ever, my mental illness and substance use history are largely the reason I chose to place her. I realized, I just couldn't a the age of 21. Even though some in my family thought I copped out and used it as an excuse..... I put my wants of being an actual mom to the side to give Gwendolyn the best life possibily could. And the last thing I was able to do was be a parent, bc of my brain. So I made my choice. And in my birth plan it said, upon placement do full psychiatric scan and behavioral health questions to determine if [I] need hospitalization. Fun fact: I was actually stronger than I was prepared for. 💕

I was undiagnosed when I had my first kid and it literally almost killed me. Since then I've learned a lot about my body and know that EDS is likely what caused my complications. I'm definitely not confident in my ability to go through it again, even though I do want another baby.

I feel like I can't do anything right for anyone

I have PCOS, SLE and Fibromyalgia, and history of Epilepsy. I tried to get pregnant and did once after 6 years trying only to loose it super early. When i lost it I said no more I don't want to pass this on to anyone.

Years ago, pre-marriage, I was steadfast in the notion that if I ever met "the one" we would focus on adoption. This was early on in my autoimmune journey and I wasn't with anyone. Fast forward to meeting the man who has become my best friend, my other half, and I listened to his desire to at least try. We knew going into it that it would not be slam dunk for us as I was older. Two years ago, we had a miscarriage. It took months for anyone to listen to me. In the interim, I began having flares of my conditions. I had to stop working as a result. On oxygen, and now I'm getting evaluated for a double lung transplant. So, we're back to the adoption option...but we can't really start that until we have our own home. Meanwhile neither of us is getting any younger...43 in July for me. My husband just turned 52 in January.

that's how I feel about it... With my MS - no one knows how long I'll remain mobile, coherent, able, hell even nourished enough to live regular life. If I had children, how long would I be able to participate in their lives? Would childbirth cause to me what it did to Selma Blair? In that case - my businesses wouldn't be very successful...therefore my income would deplete. I'd be helpless with a helpless little baby & just unabled.

I am only 18 and don't have kids yet but I do think about this but I feel afraid that my mom finding out that I have a kid that she is going to try to find me and mistreat my kid just like she abused and all honesty I hope that doesn't happen because my kid don't deserve that and they don't deserve to be with out a mother because I would be in jail if that bitch ever tried to do anything to my kid

I'm very sorry maybe you can try to adopt children not the same as having your own but alot of ppl do adopt children o will be praying for you sweetie

I was raised by a bipolar mother and just had a baby girl. My mother never got treatment and to this day denies being bipolar despite being diagnosed (and it being incredibly obvious). If my daughter inherits my issues, I hope I can show an example of embracing the difficult parts of myself and my life and give her the support and education she needs to live with and overcome it. It's so hard to think of her having to go through some of this but I hope I will be able to teach her how to manage it and be more sensitive to and loving of the people she meets and what they may be struggling with.

my fibro didn't show till I found out about my 3rd baby. I love my bugs but If I would have known sooner. I would have never had kids

I want kids so badly, but I struggle with my mental health and I don't know if I'll ever get to a point where I feel stable enough to have children. At the point I'm at now, I can't even hold a job. And if I do reach that stability, I don't know that I want to have biological children. My anxiety has made me terrified of pain, which means I'm terrified of pregnancy and childbirth. And I don't want to pass along my mental illness.

I can't go off of my meds to have kids, and I can't have kids on my meds. It's terrible.

Between my physical and mental health concerns, I KNOW I'm doing a kindness by remaining childfree.

I have a son, he has fibromyalgia, but it's not because of me. It's because he was the pick on kid in school. Every day he was abused by his classmates from 3rd grade until 9th grade. He even tried to kill himself 3 times.

We tried to have children trusting that God would give us healthy, happy kids. Turned out we couldn't have kids and we were devastated. After a while we became foster parents and fostered kids for 10 years. Over 100 kids came and went from our house during that time. We asked 11 to stay and we adopted them. I think God had that planned for us all along.

Yes.. I made the decision not to have kids many years ago. I'm happy with that

I've had an ex who got weirded out by my tourettes, didn't accept me for who I was, and worsened my mental health. I wanted to settle down with this person, but they didn't love me enough to do so. Like, if I didn't have all this stuff going on, who was I?

Always planned on adoption if I ever wanted children since I’ve been through multiple operations and don’t want to spend another minute in a hospital. My condition can also be passed through genes and I wouldn’t be able to mentally deal with going through that again. Plus there are thousands of kids in foster care that deserve loving homes.

Well I'm gay sooooo

I had a hysterectomy. I always wanted to adopt instead of having a biological child, but it really sucks not longer having the option

I was on a huge disney trip when I hit rock bottom.

I spent my whole childhood memorizing parenting tips from tv and babysitting and have always loved babies with all my heart and I've just waited to have kids but now I think it would be wrong if I ever had them bc I would most likely pass down my anxiety and depression and I just don't have the temper and patience for it anymore. I also just know that with anxiety, there is so much I won't be able to do for them and depression will keep me down a lot of days. They'll watch me fall apart all the time and I couldn't do that to a child

I want to have a kid with my partner but I'm so scared I won't be able to take care of them because I'm disabled.

I'm not.. the mom I could be. Not the mom I should be. My girl will be five in October. All the damn time, I'm telling myself I'm going to do better. But I could play more. Be more compassionate. Calm down a bit. I feel like everything I do is wrong, I feel always that she deserves better, but I love her more than anything, and I do t understand why I.. just.. can't.

It sent me into labor at 24 weeks (thankfully they stopped it), and then went into preclampsia, I had to be induced to protect him and I.

I want kids, but having them biologically would most likely kill either me, them, or both. My conditions are causing me to lose myself, and to become this angry person that I'm not, so I am scared to even think about adopting if I'm this medically screwed up.

I had a chemical pregnancy years ago. I didn't tell my friend until last year. It was really sad. For now, I choose to take birth control to help with Endometriosis and refrain from intimacy.

I completely understand I choose to have a hysterectomy when I was 38yrs old. Due to my conditions I could not take care of children.

My symptoms didn't start until after I'd had 3 kids. They all have issues with pain.

Everyone doesn’t want me to have kids, but at the end of the day it’s my decision to have kids or not. Yes I may take medications to make me feel okay, but that won’t stop me from being the best mom ever when I do have kids.

I tried off and on for 15 years to get pregnant. I had to come to terms with the limitations of my own body and realize that even if I did get pregnant it wouldn’t be realistic for me to carry. Now at 40, my husband and I created 4 embryos with the help of IVF. We are lucky to have insurance that covered much of the cost. My 22 year old niece has volunteered to be our surrogate. We plan to transfer within the next couple of months. I also considered my health limitations when thinking about my ability to care for a child. We felt comfortable moving forward with everything because my in laws have agreed to retire early and move here from India and live with us. My husband also works from home. We felt like that would be an adequate support system and they can pick up the slack on my challenging days.

With my conditions I can barely get through a day taking care of myself, let alone another person.

I am still only 19 but building a family is a huge goal of mine and I don’t want my mental illness to block my goals. I’m definitely still scared😂 But the thought of not doing it alone helps.

im here for all of you.

I went back and forth all my life bout kids and recently like 5 maybe 6 months ago was hooked on having a kid. Then after like 3 or 4 months decided my decision of not having any cause of my health was wise and it’s not selfish of me not to have any. Also biggest thing was me having a kid at 37 seemed late in my life and didn’t want to be that old when my child graduated. We did talk about adoption but I think I just wanted to know what that connection was like to hold and birth the child. But will not save me emotionally.

I'm afraid I might be in early menopause

If I ever want to carry my own child, ill need round the clock care and lots of trips to the doctors office and after the birth, more doctors for both of us. Im only 20 so im not thinking too much about it but it is not fun to be reminded every time I go to the doctor about the risks

I had a rough pregnancy but I have a child and it hasn't been much of struggle physically. Praise the Lord

I had my girls young and actually was not thinking about it. My girls are now adults and suffer with their own mental health battles. I feel like regardless of what your dx is they will have their own things as they are human.

I was a survivor of leukemia at age 2. I never thought having kids would be far to my children.

i’m 19. i was told i could never have kids, and honestly i wouldn’t want to and then pass this on to my children. i’ve chosen to adopt in the future instead, possibly surrogacy too:)

I almost died having my daughter. My health problems and depression worsened after. Then a year later we found out that we couldn't have anymore, it killed us. But I have a beautiful sassy tween. Between my conditions and the depression I didn't do well for a while.😥

I was told at the age of 8 I would never be able to have children. That was in 1988. My parents told everyone they knew if they ever heard of anyone willing to put their child up for adoption to let us know, well in 2006 I got a call from one of my mom's best friends, she told me she knew of a baby that needed a home! I was in shock! I couldn't believe it!! I was so so HAPPY, now my son is 15 and he is all mine!! Adoption is a beautiful thing!!❤️

I wasn't diagnosed until after my children and I didn't find out it was hereditary until i had my second child. The second i found out i had my tubes removed so i wouldn't risk having any more children. I feel bad enough knowing my children could get fibromyalgia. I've had both of them in therapy to learn emotion regulation since they were old enough to start. I'm doing everything I can to try to save them from what I go through.

I had 2 kids before all of my late diagnosis so it didn't affect it.

I have a son, my fiance is the only father that he has ever known, but my fiance has no children of his own and wants one so badly. I am terrified to get pregnant again due to my poor health and nerve issues. I stay in constant pain, as is. My anxiety tells me that something will go horribly wrong.

Yes, my child is adopted and raised by my parents because my Mental Health is far from what’s ideal for a child to be exposed to. Also, I realized I cannot have children in my future; My mental illnesses are genetic, I almost lost myself to postpartum depression the last time I had a child, I can’t mentally or physically take the weight gain again, and I hate to admit it but just due to the way I am...I know I’d be less than happy to be attending to anyone else’s needs consistently, all day every day and night without becoming resentful or even neglectful. So yes, my conditions have destroyed my ideal family life...and I’ll never truly get to be a Mother the way I’d always wanted to be....my own son doesn’t even know I’m his biological mother yet, he thinks his grandparents are his biological parents and it’s devastating for me but it’s what is best for him, he needed stability and I did what it took to give him that. No matter how it has all broke me. 😔

They've made it nearly impossible to conceive. 😥

I mean. I'm still young but the thought of having kids makes me so anxious. I'm afraid I'm gonna break them. I'm not even sure that I want kids but I'm currently leaning towards no. And I love kids and babysitting, I just...idk, kids don't stay kids forever. I've also never been on a date and I'm about to graduate college so...maybe I have bigger problems.

I’m having a hard time socializing and getting tired as well as as depressed and angry. That last 1 is a relationship killer and I can’t stand it. I’m also kind of embarrassed about it because I’m not just Christian I’m a minister of the Gospel. It’s deeply painful and sad.

at first I was considering if I even wanted to have kids with what I deal with mentally, but I realized that my negative mental aspects are actually a result of being mistreated and under diagnosed rather than the mental disorder itself, and I feel I don’t want kids until I learn how to most effectively and comfortably raise a happy and healthy child with adhd and autism.

I’m type 1 diabetic and I have an 18 month old baby boy and love him with all my heart and soul! ❤️ I couldn’t imagine life without him. I did the research and apparently the percentage of my children is only a LITTLE bit higher probability that they could have type 1 diabetes, as well. I’ve had it since I was 6. If any of my kids get it, I’m the best mom they could have and in today’s day and age you can have type 1 diabetes and ALL the support, technology, doctors, knowledge and everything a T1D person needs to thrive and have a “normal T1D life” (we have our own “normal” and that is okay - we all do! And that’s what I plan to teach my children.)

Surprisingly, not at all. I am VERY fertile. I just got my tubes tied this past November

hopefully by the time im having children or getting married ill be much better mentally, but for now my life plan doesn't involve marriage or children. i can hardly properly take care of myself due to depression, itd be a nightmare and constant panic attacks if i had to take care of someone else.

I dont want kids because it would make my conditions much worse.

I want a baby but I’m to mentally sick to have one and my disorder gets in my way

No children sterile from high doses of prolix-in Thorazine. And Melerile as an adolescent

I would have to stop my meditation if I wanted to have biological kids. I'm worried about what would happen if I stopped. Also: my disorders are genetic, and lied dormant or only mild in my family for a long time. I'm obviously worried about passing on genetics with poor brain chemistry.

My gp and cfs have forced me to give my 13yr old to his foster mom and she rubs it in my face all the time.😥

PTSD making me afraid of men.

My husband and I just began the process of embryo freezing. I had a chemical pregnancy recently and it was a roller coaster because we weren’t even trying. I had literally every symptom starting the week after my missed cycle. Got the positive once and then it just ended. It really scared me because my SIL has struggled with fertility. I want kids, but I also have a lot of fear that I won’t be able to handle it. Sometimes my CRPS is so bad I can’t even hold my phone. It’s scary but I have a good support system. Now just isn’t good timing for other reasons. Life is just too hard and unstable at the moment.

I have one child, after several miscarriages. I am definitely a one and done family. We actually gave up trying and then I ended up pregnant right after starting a new job.

Too many conditions genetically run in my family so I made the decision young that I would never have my own biological kids. I don't want to bring a child into the world only to suffer from hardships. I also probably wouldn't make a great mother

Having a family was something I dreamed of my whole life. However, I made the incredibly hard decision not to have children. I thought if there's a chance that I could pass on even 1 of my several conditions I would never forgive myself. I would never want a child to experience a fraction of what I've been through.

I do not want to be pregnant again, because the likelihood of similar complications would be too much to handle. I'm only now able to recognize the trauma that my experience left me with. It's been almost two years since my water broke at 27 weeks and eventhough I have a healthy 20 month old (I was isolated on hospital bedrest during the pandemic, until I was induced at 34wks and then NICU time). I'm still feeling hurt by the whole situation.

I am constantly feeling depressed and so when I see other women with a baby I become more and more depressed, I may also be infertil so it makes matters worse when I think about it.

I don't know anyone in my family besides myself with type 1 diabetes. I have two kids. Everyone is different, but it was a decent journey bringing them in this world. I had a really good medical team and a very supportive husband and I didn't have any complications due to my condition. Just a piece of my experience.

I decided not to have kids when I was diagnosed at 13. I don't want my child to go through what I have gone through and have to experience all the difficulties with medical problems. it is really disappointing and I feel left out sometimes, I'd like to be pregnant and have a child that looks like me but I can't in good conscience give my child what I have

I always wanted to be a mother but conceiving is not possible with my condition. If I can find a partner, I want to foster. So many kids need love!