Feeling Mentally Unstable and Anxious About Starting a Family

Me after tying my tubes after first 2 and biological clock ticks too fast when you dissociate for long periods of time. 10k to get untied.... stressed

I did for a long time, but I finally sat down and was honest with myself and realized that I wouldn't be a good mother. I have issues with patience, for one, and also realize that, in order to have kids who were like I was as a child (quiet, curious, bookworm) I would have to raise them how I was raised. (Which is a giant NO) Meaning they would obey out of fear, rather than anything else, and I'd rather not do that to another kid. So, instead, I'm co-parenting as aunti with my friends~ I can pass down my love of reading, languages, and music, help with homework, do fun stuff, but still have the ability to say 'Hey, I need some time' and go decompress. With three of us, we all get that time, the kids get the adult they need when they need them, and we all survive. So, don't think that your only option is 'MUST HAVE BABY!' because it's not. That's just what society expects. Village-raising kids with your crew is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, even if the normies look at you funny. Also, don't let that whole age thing get you down either. My sister-from-another-mister had her two kids (currently 7 and 5) at 32 and 34, respectively. I'm a year older than her. Yet, we keep up. I do martial arts, the girl spawn and I do dance, we're a crafting household, and boy spawn, well, we're trying to find a physical activity he likes, but still. We keep up, that's the point. Just keep your inner child alive and you'll be ready for a family, in whatever form~

oh yes all of the time... i have an older mother and im coming up on the year that she had me, which means that if i have children i will subject them to potentially less time with their mom. im also potentially passing down trauma and health issues and can barely manage my own life right now at 27... So I've decided that I have to focus on myself: I can't offer anything to anyone else if I don't have anything to offer myself.

Absolutely. I'm in the fear factor of "running out of time". I was in a relationship for 8 years. Ended a few months ago. We were supposed to start a family. Now I have to figure things out on my own. The anxiety is high. I go to the doctors and they always ask if I'm menopausal yet and I'm not even 40.