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Orthopedicshoes

693d

New to the app. On here because as I get increasingly frustrated with my body and it’s unpredictability, which only seems to be getting worse with time, my sister said there must be some group I could talk to of people with chronic pain/problems. Then I saw an ad for this app so it felt serendipitous. My constants over the years have been back pain (moderate-severe, depending on the day), anxiety/related disorders, stomach problems/IBS More recently we’ve added crazy ovarian cyst pain to the list, which ruptured for the first time last year and I ended up at the ER, then upon follow up with my doctor was given BC options to keep the hormones under control and keep it at bay, went through the IUD process, and am still dealing with those symptoms of the recurring cyst. Was recently given more pain killers and anti-nausea as the solution for that 🙃 It’s hard not to feel like the problem child when every week there’s a new ache or pain, my loved ones worry about me and are confused, because we have no idea why I have all of the seemingly unrelated issues that I have. I walk around with a pharmacy in my backpack in case X Y or Z happens in public and I need to fend it off until I can make it home to lay down (sometimes on the floor), or to a bathroom. This past year I was so fed up of feeling so confused by my symptoms that I insisted I must have something autoimmune behind most of my problems, especially seeing as I’m always in pain, the same sicknesses hit me harder than those around me, I had problems with my tonsils (now removed), my blood work often looks like I “just fought something off,” even if I haven’t, and I have a blood relative who has lupus,etc etc. had a specialist tell me I seem like someone that may develop an autoimmune later, because I present like this, but that my blood work came back fine. Am I just unlucky? It’s so hard to tell people what’s wrong with me and why my quality of life is pretty low when I don’t have one solid thing I can point to as the cause. Sometimes I understand why others may feel I’m faking it. But then I lay in bed at night crying as my nerves shoot pain signals from my back down to my knee and I feel sad but validated. Some days I can do it all and ignore my symptoms because they’re milder than usual, often times it’s manageable. But the bad times are so bad that I get into this spiral of thinking how on earth can I plan for the future or be excited by it when I have no idea how my health will be? I don’t have a roadmap, a person or condition I can look to for answers. I feel like I’m living between bad back/stomach/ovary days. I feel like an inconvenience or burden to those who love me. I feel scared to accept anything with more time commitments or responsibility from school, like a job I was offered, because I don’t want to have to call out sick. I feel like I can’t be depended on. Idk man I’m trying to remind myself of all the good in my life, the people I love. If I didn’t have that I think I’d be majorly depressed like I used to be years ago. Instead I’m in this weird state where I’m upset all the time about my physical limitations/circumstances, while grateful that i can still do things. I may have pain but it usually doesn’t keep me from actually physically doing a thing… it just hurts. I feel like I live my life in the grey area. I feel like, I have too many problems to be considered a normal 20something, but not specific enough problems to be labeled with a condition. It’s a weird, frustrating place to be. Some days I can’t even do sh** around the house, other days I can go walking the city for miles… wth Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

Top reply
    • Orthopedicshoes

      675d

      @BinoVert ugh I hear you 💕 and I’m sorry that your husband seems to not understand.. I think sometimes it’s a coping thing, I hope that’s the reason why. Like when I was younger my dad just wrote off all my problems because he just didn’t want to think I could be hurting, it made him feel bad. He’s been forced to validate it when it’s happened in front of him before. The thing is though, the people who are the most supportive of us get rewarded with constant worry. The unpredictability of conditions with unknown causes is enough to drive the people who love us crazy. My boyfriend gets frustrated when I come home from a doctor and asks if there’s any new info, only to find it’s usually more of the same “you should not be going through this at your age!” 🙃 I’ve met many well meaning doctors who I appreciated but who simply didn’t know how to help, and several shitty doctors (especially when the symptoms first came on at 17th are old) who didn’t even give me the time of day or told me I was basically fine/being a baby. A couple months before my ovarian cyst ruptured (which the hospital told me was about the size of a ping pong ball btw) I had been to a gyno about the pain, on rec from another doctor who thought I might have a cyst, and she told me “some women just have a low pain tolerance” 🙄 This life can be frustrating. No one truly understands like we ourselves do. There’s something unbelievably frustrating about knowing your body and its issues better than anyone but also not being able to find out why, or a solution. Anyway, for now my doctor started me on an anti-anxiety to help with anxiety and by extension my stomach problems, and another pill I can take before meals if I’m feeling off. As for my back I have new pain management doctor who wants to try another epidural which I’ll be getting done later this week, but with a different approach than the other two i had done years ago. She seems hopeful that it can provide me some relief… so we will see 🤷🏻‍♀️ no one wants to operate on a 25 year old so for now we manage the pain I guess. If the epidural doesn’t work we may consider getting me a medical marijuana license and trying that. Ive literally tried almost everything to cope so what’s one more thing? 😅

    • BinoVert

      677d

      I have so many health issues and have been checked for ana multiple times, all test under the sun always come back fine or inconclusive. I get how you are feeling. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone and find it hard to let people know how I am doing because most days I just want to crawl into bed and let the world pass while my pains take over. I feel bad for my mom and my children because they get the brunt of my incapabilities of day to day life on my bad days. My husband just thinks I'm lying most of the time because none of my illnesses are visible and pain is relative to each person. If only he could step into my shoes for just one day and feel the way I feel daily, he may understand more. I get up every day and do as I need to take care of what I have to but it is hard and having no answers to WHY is even harder. I hope you find a doctor that can help you find your answers to WHY and WHAT.

      • Orthopedicshoes

        675d

        @BinoVert ugh I hear you 💕 and I’m sorry that your husband seems to not understand.. I think sometimes it’s a coping thing, I hope that’s the reason why. Like when I was younger my dad just wrote off all my problems because he just didn’t want to think I could be hurting, it made him feel bad. He’s been forced to validate it when it’s happened in front of him before. The thing is though, the people who are the most supportive of us get rewarded with constant worry. The unpredictability of conditions with unknown causes is enough to drive the people who love us crazy. My boyfriend gets frustrated when I come home from a doctor and asks if there’s any new info, only to find it’s usually more of the same “you should not be going through this at your age!” 🙃 I’ve met many well meaning doctors who I appreciated but who simply didn’t know how to help, and several shitty doctors (especially when the symptoms first came on at 17th are old) who didn’t even give me the time of day or told me I was basically fine/being a baby. A couple months before my ovarian cyst ruptured (which the hospital told me was about the size of a ping pong ball btw) I had been to a gyno about the pain, on rec from another doctor who thought I might have a cyst, and she told me “some women just have a low pain tolerance” 🙄 This life can be frustrating. No one truly understands like we ourselves do. There’s something unbelievably frustrating about knowing your body and its issues better than anyone but also not being able to find out why, or a solution. Anyway, for now my doctor started me on an anti-anxiety to help with anxiety and by extension my stomach problems, and another pill I can take before meals if I’m feeling off. As for my back I have new pain management doctor who wants to try another epidural which I’ll be getting done later this week, but with a different approach than the other two i had done years ago. She seems hopeful that it can provide me some relief… so we will see 🤷🏻‍♀️ no one wants to operate on a 25 year old so for now we manage the pain I guess. If the epidural doesn’t work we may consider getting me a medical marijuana license and trying that. Ive literally tried almost everything to cope so what’s one more thing? 😅

    • T_Girl

      693d

      🙏

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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