Need to Vent: Intrusive Thoughts and Health Anxiety

plz read if you can. Rant: I have cfs and one of the most annoying thingz is I have chronic pain and anxiety. I am in a LOT of pain like 7-8 level out of 10. its horrible and irs that kinda pain that doesn't let you sleep. I woke up at 3pm yesterday after falling asleep at 4am the day before. now its 6.20am and I couldn't sleep all night because of my pain and my brain yelling at me. I have some kind of ocd intrusive thoughts bull going on constantly saying stupid shit that I know is stupid but it gets In my head and I panic. like today it was: I had another blood clot and I need to cut it out by stabbing the area wirh a knife or I will have a heart attack because thw clot turns into a PE then it was saying I can't do anything because then my lungs will collapse if I stab myself and then I will die suffocating and of blood loss etc. lucky the pain has subsided a bit (5-6) so i can sleep somewhat now but I'm now going to probably sleep for 24 hours again and it sucks. I spend most of the day in bed, today I couldn't even put away a few dishes downstairs without feeling like I climbed mount snowdin! (and yes I have done that before i got I'll and I want to do it again if i get better) it doesnt help that I dissasociate and have in the past hurt myself in a bad dissasociative state. cut my mouth open and needed 20+ stitches. stabbed myself woth a fork, scratched my head and face till i blead and had gouge marks and scratch marks, smashed my head against walls. (im jist going off what people have told me as i dont even remember 1/8 of it.) those are extremes and usually I can stop a disassociation or be able to control it so I don't leave completely. when i can't sleep and am in pain I can't stop it as easily and i don't realize I'm dissasociating as I'm already so tired amd can't move well. I'm in the uk and I don't want to go to hospital. so I'm trying to not go but its getting harder. rant over.

Help! I'm Scared to Sleep and Can't Catch My Breath

I suffer from sleep problems and rushing thoughts. Recently, the thoughts have been so bothersome that I wake up in the middle of the night with them. Also, it takes me awhile to even realize that I’m having those thoughts. It takes so much time from my sleep and I don’t know how to stop them. I tried meditation, but I simply can’t focus. Everyday I worry that my health gets worse because I’m tired and stressed. Any tips?