I understand my dad passed away 2 months ago suddenly. It's very hard and exhausting on my mental health. My therapist told my to write a letter to my dad in a journal when you feel the like talking to him. I still say goodnight to him every night even though he can't answer. I have some of my dad's shirts and a sleep with them so that apart of me knows it's ok. Sending you my deepest sympathy and just know to take it one moment at a time one day at a time.