Good Kid or Bad Kid: How Childhood Behavior Affects Adulthood

I was a good kid, very sweet and bubbly. I grew up on the rough side of town with trends that didn't really stick with me so I was always labeled as the "weird kid". My mother and father both suffered from mental illnesses and were neglectful and abusive. They would frequently compare me to each other. "Your just like your father/mother" with the constant fights they would have I started to become depressed. I would go to school and be overly friendly, try my best to make friends. My over friendliness was always took advantage of and i was constantly bullied for it. I didn't know why people bullied me then but as a adult I can see the reason I was getting bullied so much was because I was going to school with dirty clothes and unkempt hair😅 between the ages of 5-13 my mother had taught me nothing of self-care. And even then despite my terrible home, and sexual abusive cousin and bullies that would follow me home everyday I still was putting up this bright facade that everything was okay.. by the time I hit high-school, I still maintained that bubbly and innocent spirit. I told myself that I was gonna escape my problems through education and money but with my depression and and crippling anxiety maintaining a good academic score was hard. I thought about taking my life because I failed a class for the first time and my GPA was never the same.. i had stop coming to school on time because it was hard to get outta bed. It was hard to eat because we had a roach infestation, so the lack of food left me feeling weak and underweight. I only kept pushing because a couple people outside my family would secretly support me while my mom got high on the couch and would complain about my deadbeat dad. (Dad was in jail btw) I wish I could go back to tell myself to just let it all out because now at age 20 I'm now just starting to enjoy life and also process all the traumatic events that happened throughout the years. I want to rip myself away from that scared child that would alway wear a mask. Im hurt, I'm unnecessarily ashamed,im feeling unloved, I'm angry, I'm repulsed at my family and I deserved a better upbring.. I owe it to myself to find true happiness, after my mom kicked me out for trying to further my education in college I've tried to lose contact but I still have siblings who need me so I only vist for them. Other than that she no longer has an effect on my life and I'm gonna re-parent myself as an adult now.💕💕

What about you @jakiyah?

Good Kid. Golden child. As an adult I am learning I started suppressing my needs and feelings before I could walk. It is really hard to listen for what I want/need/feel when there is no one around to influence my decision. Apparently I also split personalities so that’s probably part of it too and I’m working on becoming more aware of my other personalities/identities/alters. Apparently like at first since we’re all hostile towards each other they won’t communicate with me we hide from each other and then each of us just takes over whenever we feel like we’re the one who is going to keep our body safe. I can’t wait until I can talk to my alters so I can better understand what’s happening especially for the gaps in my memory.

(TW: self harm, suicide, sexual assult, deaths) I never was a very great kid from what I was told. I always tried to be kind and was open to my friends and being as nice as I could all the time and helping whoever with whatever anytime but nothing was ever good enough for my parents and my 2 older brothers would always blame stuff on me and my parents would scream at me that i was lying and lock me in our pantry. I was sexually assulted many times by my step dad and my childhood was extremely traumatic for me. In 5th grade my dad almost died both my dogs died by aunt who was the only family member besides my grandma died and my best friend since kindergarten dictched me and it felt like I had nothing. that's when i had attempted suicide for the first time and over the course of middle school it only got worse and worse and I joined therapy in 7th grade. while I grew up my parents only got more and more abusive and blamed being raped on me. My mother was the worse and tried to blame all my mental illnesses on me as well and my dad just watched it all and talked behind my back. I had attempted suicide 5 other times in the span of 8th grade because every friend I made I lost sooner or later and it got to where i didn't have quite literally anything. My family hated me my friends hated me and the ones who didn't had either moved or one of them was sent to a mental hospital. my best friend started ignoring me and a new group I joined in therapy made me leave all the other which I had built a huge loving relationship with. i was raped again in my 8th grade year and bullied constantly through middle school being called slurs shoved around and it made me stop caring about life to the worst it had ever gotten. I would start fist fights all the time and would skip class and do anything because since nothing I did was ever good enough back when I got perfect grades and was kind all the time I thought it was fine too if i did the opposite. I was out as lgbtq to all my school and they didn't let me forget and made me self conscious of who I was. In 7th grade I started self harming and that addiction still sticks with me today infact I relapsed a few hours ago after being 2 weeks clean. overall my childhood tortured me and no one in my life let me feel any better.

Depends on what you mean by good or bad. I was good for my parents yes. But I was bad in the physical and mental sate. I did fight my mom a lot, but that comes with detachment disorder. I was not close with her even when I was first born she says.

Goody two shoes galore! I'm finally breaking out of my shell and learning to make decisions for me and not to please others

I was the good kid because my older sister ruined my mothers trust for us. I had to maintain the "perfect child" until I hit such a hard burnout at 19...