First time switching in front of SO, scared and confused

Yes! Obviously I had been switching my whole life, I was just unaware of it. When I first found out about the DID I tried to force switches to not happen. It terrified me to lose control like that. However, a year later and we have great communication. I usually stay co-con now rather than have blackout amnesia. It's sometimes still scary to lost control like that, especially when it's a child part or a destructive part, but that's just the nature of the disorder and I had to learn to cope with that reality.

I was more panicked than anything. But I got the same reaction, love and reassurance. Now when I switch I just go with it. But I've made kind of a rule with myself and the others that we must ask permission to switch.

Oh definitely. I would do just about anything to try and stop myself from switching cuz it freaked me out too much. I didn't really know what to do though so I just shook my head a bunch as if I could shake the alters away