Struggling with Finding the Right Medication for My Mental Health

I know that finding the right medication is difficult, but it's just so frustrating, being on now 4 different anti-depressants, now Abilify, it's just, so many thoughts, I don't even wanna have to take medications, but I can't do it alone, on some days it feels like my Adderall works in place of my anti-depressant, and some days it just feels like all of them just doesn't work. And at the same time, my anxiety is like skyrocketing and my doctor told me that if the Abilify doesn't help with that they can prescribe me a PRN medication specific to the anxiety, but why can't I just take a medication that helps with all of it, rather than just 3 for 3 different things? Why can't my brain just get it together and just not need it? My therapist recommended thought replacement therapy, but as a headstrong belligerent person, those thoughts are incredibly hard to change, but I want them too, but my brain is also always just in a haywired state that is just a mix of distressing thoughts and random stuff