Feeling Numb in My Relationship

can i have some more info? i want to know how long you've been together, and how long you've felt like you don't have feelings. emotional numbness is common with bpd, same with the outburts, and these may not be offputting to your partner. (those things aren't an issue for my partner, because we've had clear and honest discussion about it and i've provided them resources to educate them about bpd.) seconding having a conversation with your partner, but i'd also like to add that it's very important that you also express things like the feeling of wanting to be alone. if there are other times where you're not expressing your needs or wants, that may be contributing to both the numbness and the outburts, so i encourage you to try and express those things to him too, even if you think they're somehow bad. you may also want to offer him informational articles about bpd to supplement your explanation of your current feelings and behaviours. are you in therapy at all? if not, a therapist may be able to help you process some of these feelings. if you think you can't afford it, some therapists provide low cost or free options - look for programs run by local college students or other community resources. and i also see you're taking pregabalin, but if you're not feeling happiness, are you sure it's the right medication for you? could you talk with your prescriber about changing your medication? i take 100mg lamictal and i've found it to be the only medication that makes a dent in the bpd side of things. it's the only medication i've tried twice and stayed on long term. i also take nortriptyline, a tricyclic antidepressant, because regular ssris do nothing for me. (this may not be the case for you, of course, but if you also haven't been helped by ssris, it might be something to bring up with your doctor.) lastly, i've heard others with bpd highly recommend abilify - i absolutely hated it because of its antipsychotic properties and how numb it made me feel, but others i know have praised it as a miracle drug, so it may be worth bringing up if lamictal doesn't seem to help. let me know if you have questions or comments as well!

I feel like you should have a healthy conversation with him about this and what he wants knowing this. Take it in strides it'll be okay