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enbypup

570d

I've been dealing with a lot of dissociation (depersonalization more specifically), and feeling numb/blurry... less like a human and more like a blob. but today I was telling my therapist about how I always feel numb and even when I feel moments of joy, it's like. less carbonated joy... flat joy. it's so annoying because I want to feel joy and happiness! but mostly I just feel sad/frustrated, and if I'm not feeling that, I feel numb. I'm sure someone can relate

Top reply
    • Weiss

      560d

      @enbypup I write some really dark poems when I'm in numb and empty and it feels different. So numb, but I feel more aware.

    • Perfectionist27

      569d

      I didnt read what anyone else wrote i have personally experienced this myself. I happened to be on celexa (hybrid of lexpro) it was good but i felt so numb. Something i think thats currently helping me not feel that way is taking vitamin B12 and D and working out at the gym. Also maybe try and keep a list of things that do or have made you feel happy. From what else i know going into autopilot mode as they call it, is common but i have found pros in it also. It keeps me less stressed since i tend to hyper focus and freak myself out.

    • Y0g1

      569d

      Said so well ♥️♥️♥️

    • dolphinblues

      569d

      I definitely can relate. I just started seeing a counselor again because I realized I was numb to everything. My dad passed away in January, yet I could not cry. Not good. I felt sad, but a numb sad. It is like I am a robot going through the motions but that's it.

    • DangerNoodle

      569d

      Ive been feeling like this a lot lately. I just feel so out of touch with human emotions some times. Like I either feel numb or angry and annoyed.

      • enbypup

        569d

        @DangerNoodle human emotions are so confusing. when I am feeling something other than numb, i always have trouble pinpointing the exact emotion (other than frustration and sadness)

    • AnimalBoy

      570d

      Mood. I get like that when im really overwhelmed

    • Weiss

      570d

      Man, I love the way you described it. I've never thought of describing it that way. It's oddly poetic but extremely accurate. I can FEEL the way you described the feeling because I feel it too. Lately more than usual.

      • enbypup

        570d

        @Weiss it's so difficult lately. I see or hear people talk about being happy and I'm over here like 🤷‍♂️ can't relate. And I want to feel it but it feels so impossible at this point...

        • Weiss

          560d

          @enbypup I write some really dark poems when I'm in numb and empty and it feels different. So numb, but I feel more aware.

    • Enbybookworm

      570d

      I get this a lot with my borderline personality disorder. Chronic feelings of emptiness are never pleasant. I'm sorry you're going through it right now.

    • Duckyqueen123

      570d

      I understand the not feeling happy/joy doing something fun. Once we where on a carnival ride but felt no excitement.

      • Weiss

        570d

        @Duckyqueen123 Ferris Wheels make me feel comforted and safe but at the same time they make me feel extremely depressed and lonelier the longer it goes on. It feels like a real life depiction of how I feel. When you reach the top, nobody can hear you, and you can scream but nobody will hear you.

        • enbypup

          570d

          @Weiss I like how you described it, I can understand the feeling.

        • Weiss

          570d

          @Weiss Tangible is a better word instead of "real life" I think. It's very real..

    • coljoi

      570d

      Totally agree. I was just telling someone about this recently too. I feel anxious/on edge most of the time, even if im leading up to a fun activity. I think to myself, aren't I supposed to be excited? Why does everything I do feel like a chore? Even if I'm doing the fun activity, sometimes I lose my happiness when something unexpected occurs. I just hate how fleeting and rare the feeling of happiness seems to be.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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