Feeling Guilty and Overwhelmed in My Relationship

Heya! So, I don't really know how to word this while making it make sense, so I'm going to just say it. My boyfriend has been going through a lot and doesn't want to talk to me about it and just wants to be left alone and to have some space, and I'm trying to respect that, but every thought in my head is saying that he's just using this as an excuse to not talk to me and that he hates me, which in turn makes me feel guilty for thinking that, which in turn makes me want to kill myself and it makes me this that I'm a horrible person and a spoiled brat and that I'm too sensitive and that I have no excuse to feel bad as my life is good, which in turn makes me feel guilty for thinking that I should kill myself because my boyfriend needs me to be there for him, and me dying might push him over the edge. In most of my relationships and especially this one I feel like they don't love me and I feel guilty about not trusting them which just continues the cycle of guilt and no matter what I do I can't seem to stop it. What do I do?