Feeling Guilty for Ruining My Relationship

i think i ruined everything. my boyfriend was having a good day today and i have just been not okay mentally all week and we were on the phone and i was just off but it wasn’t anything huge until i started to have a full breakdown. i couldn’t breathe or stop crying i was just talking about how i’ve felt awful and how i always fear him leaving and loads of other things. but now he’s upset, he’s worried and i’m worried i’ve traumatized him or made his mental health bad. i don’t want to do that because i don’t want him to have to leave me because of the affect i have on him. i feel so guilty and awful, i’m so worried my relationship is ruined, i’m so sick of ruining everything and making people leave. i feel unlovable and un important, i feel hard to deal with and like i’m nothing but a burden to anyone. i’m coming to a point where i have so much dislike for myself i can’t feel anything positive about myself. i can’t keep feeling like this or reacting like this i’m going to ruin everything.