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Kelso9344

Updated 10mo ago

Struggling with a Controlling Ex-Boyfriend

I'm kinda struggling right now.. I broke up with my boyfriend on Saturday. We were together for over a year. In the beginning of our relationship, he was nice, but the last few months, he was really controlling and mean. Everything I did was wrong, I got huge lectures about things, when I joked around I would get a lecture about how I'm disrespectful, and he basically tried to change everything about me. I had to block him because he was sending message after message insulting me for breaking up with him. Why do I still feel bad? I've been crying so bad at night because I know he is suicidal. I just need someone to tell me I did the right thing.

Can you help? connect today

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Yuka

1y

Watch this guy's videos on Instagram: https://instagram.com/mentalhealnesss?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
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BeeMarrie

1y

Feel free to message me I'm so sorry your going through this x
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Kelso9344

1y

thank you ❤️
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shoe

1y

You should watch Jaden Animations video called "relationships", https://youtu.be/4H9jTQKmR3Q. The reason you feel bad is because he emotionally manipulated you. He made you feel guilt and that it was your fault even though he wad in the wrong. He wouldn't accept that what he did was bad and that he was in the wrong.
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Kelso9344

1y

thank you for sharing. I will watch it. That's very true, he rarely took blame for anything he did.
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NurseyPA

1y

You feel bad because he had control over your mind. Never feel bad for sticking up for yourself. If someone truly loves you they will accept you the way you are and not try to change you. And no partner should ever be lecturing you about anything especially your behavior. As adults if you have a problem with your partner then you sit down and have an adult discussion you don't lecture or yell at them like they are and unruly child. I'm glad you're away from this person, trust me I was in a mentally abusive relationship for over 20 years and it has a messed me up but I'm fighting to get my whole self back. Stand strong, you are better off alone than with someone who mistreat you or disrespects you. I'm always here hit me up anytime day or night. And chin up things will get better. Rediscover things you enjoy doing and put your time and energy into doing that and screw thinking about them and feeling bad.
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Yuka

1y

❤️
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Kelso9344

1y

exactly! He always told me I was childish for wanting to deal with things through text. That was the only way what I had to say would be said because he always cut me off. New years eve I was sick of it and fought back. My friends and family encouraged me to break up with him and I finally did it.
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NurseyPA

1y

See that just shows you you are truly a strong person. You are worthy of being treated with respect
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Kelso9344

1y

thank you ❤️
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Butterflame

1y

Someone else's mental state is not your responsibility. It's not an excuse. It's not a reason. It's not a 'out of jail free' ticket. Someone else's mental state is just that. Their mental state. You had to get out of there. He was controlling and either abusive or on the way to it. He continuously told you *you* were in the wrong - how could you not feel guilty with that cycle burrowed into your head? You did the right thing. You had to walk away for your safety. His isn't your responsibility anymore. Now you can grieve, and eventually heal. I'm proud of you. It's hard walking away from something like that.
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Kelso9344

1y

he definitely was mentally abusive and controlling. He moved on already so I'm doing my best to do the same. Thank you ❤️
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Trudie_tootie

1y

No matter how good for you it is there is still grief. Do not give in to the grief and get back with them tho. *hug* you got a whole community here to talk to.
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Kelso9344

1y

thank you ❤️ I'm definitely not getting back together with him. My mentality was horrible and I don't want to go back to that dark place
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Pinkdreamer

1y

You absolutely did the right thing. That is emotional manipulation, and you are right to cut and run. Run far and run fast.
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Kelso9344

1y

definitely running extremely far!
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KratomEater

1y

Sounds like you dodged a Narcissist. He’s probably saying he suicidal to control you even further. If not then that is sad yes. But if you suspect he truly is the best thing you can do for him is call the police to have him admitted as a suicide risk.
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KratomEater

1y

I’m really sorry you have been going through all of this as well😞🫶🏽
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Kelso9344

1y

thank you ❤️ I went on the site we met on to delete my profile and before I did I looked at his to make sure he took me off his relationship status and he is already looking for someone else. So him saying he would kill himself without me was another lie
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Gingeralamode

1y

Just because someone is suicidal doesn't mean you should feel the need to settle for someone who treats you badly ‼️
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Kelso9344

1y

he is already looking for another girlfriend so the suicide thing was another lie to try and keep me from leaving.
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Cil

1y

I am so so proud of you for taking care of yourself and getting out of that situation! You deserve the same love and care that you put into the relationship. There is zero excuse for treating another person like they are undeserving of love. Any kind of abuse can take some time to heal from, be gentle and patient with yourself. Now is your time to thrive. 💜
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Kelso9344

1y

thank you ❤️ definitely ready for healing
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huaa

1y

You had an attachment him its normal to feel what you are feeling but always remember you broke up with him for a reason you could feel it don't go backwards noone is worth losing your own happiness over. Time to find you again and never let anyone change you for their own gain.time to shine
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Kelso9344

1y

very true. Taking one day at a time
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edith

1y

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Sounds like he was abusive and manipulative. I think everyone else on this thread said it pretty well, I know it’s easier said than done but putting yourself first is a must. Feeling guilty for it is natural given what you just came out of but it will pass, and with practice it’ll get easier to move on, grow, and love yourself. ❤️
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Kelso9344

1y

thank you ❤️ I'm doing my best to bring back who I was before this relationship. Slow steps
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Exrs

1y

I'm so sorry love. You can't deal with people like that. Just try to stay strong and know that it's not your fault.
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Kelso9344

1y

thank you ❤️
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Harlequin93

1y

❤️St strong. you need to good about yourself. it will be a long journey but I learnt the hard way to cut toxic people out of my life that included my mother. its hard as our brains say we are in the wrong or we should understand but no we all deserve to be respected and loved. I used to think ill live the rest of my life alone as I had to many demons but I found the one to hold it all together with me. be strong within yourself x love yourself. I still don't ever day. his issues is his issues don't let anyone make you feel like its your fault. self care my dear. take this time to find you xx always here if you need a chat
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Kelso9344

1y

thank you❤️ slowly healing

The content in this post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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