Mr.Man

222d

does anyone else struggle with dating I'm 22, ive been told I'm fairly attractive but when I'm into someone I totally shut down I'm normally very social and get along well with others but when I like someone or when someone's into me I genuinely struggle with the first few dates the getting to know each other phase, I guess I attempt to mask and I just reflect the energy of the other person but I can only do that so long before I'm exhausted, and when I don't mask most women are turned off, ugh it sucks wanting a relationship and then someday I'm just happy being alone

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  • anarchoqueer

    222d

    Im 22 as well, been in a relationship for 5 years. Do you shut down because you're inviting a person into this "space" behind your mask? Are you are so used to wearing it that you don't know yourself and thoughts intimately enough to share it with another person you've invited in? In front and behind of the mask is like stepping into a stick vs automatic, thinking and shining bright as your true self is a hard when you've repressed it so long and never learned. It could be feeling of unworthiness, maybe fear of abandonment as well. Letting people means being attatched so you could actually have a fear of attachment as well. You shouldn't change how you are for anyone but yourself. There are 8 billion people in this world and people end up marring people from down the street, its bonkers. Love is like a butterfly, you can't chase it. You have to put yourself "out there" in the middle of a meadow and wait for one to land. The world is so huge, I recommend growing into the best version of yourself and someone else on the same journey will cross paths with you one day. The moment that anyone's crossed your path has been culminating and leading up to that moment from the very day you were born. There is definitely someone in the 8 billion people out there that will love you exactly for who you are. I wish you the best and much love ❤️💕💕

    • Mr.Man

      222d

      very sound advice thank you everything you said I relate to i suppose it's a fear of letting someone in and get to know me and a fear of being myself

  • patience

    222d

    Just a couple of thoughts that might help you. The word date adds a particular tension to get togethers. Have you tried doing things in groups where nothing is expected of you other than to be there and participate in activities or whatever is going on. It's a good way to meet people see them and get to know them without any expectation of you (other than to be polite). There a meetup groups of pretty much strangers who get together over shared interests like astronomy hiking traveling those kind of things. There's no expectation of friendships but they happen the only expectation is that they're going to do their particular interest with other people who have similar interests. So in that kind of an environment you can do or get together repeatedly and know if you really like someone or not. By that time you're both comfortable with each other and the attraction has been natural instead of forced or imitated

    • Mr.Man

      222d

      that Is very good advice and no I haven't had much opportunity to meet new people I mostly surround myself with the same group of people

      • anarchoqueer

        222d

        Definitely look into it! I live in a super small town on the Western slope of CO and when I moved here I looked up Astronomy, Spelunking, and Rockhounding clubs nearby and found them! They're about $5 a month here and it's so cool to be around people with similar interests.

  • patience

    222d

    There is an organization called Meetup. You can go online and see dozens of different groups that meet up for a variety of reasons but mostly to get together with people like them to do the things they like to do. At the very least you'd get to know other people and you might find you like a few of them better than your normal group of friends

  • PokeAdams

    222d

    "You're single not because no one wants you, but because you care about who you sleep with".Carl Jung is one of the people who said that and Erich Maria.

  • PokeAdams

    222d

    I'm Peter and I'm 17 btw.

  • PokeAdams

    222d

    I just needed to share that with you guys.

  • PokeAdams

    222d

    Do y'all agree with this?

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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