Struggling with Depression and Trust Issues

I feel like my depression is slowly getting worse. I'm losing control of my thoughts and I can't seem to get myself out of this way of thinking. I feel like I can't talk to anyone in fear of being annoying or putting my burdens on them. The last few people I truly trusted used my depressive ways of thinking against me and those words they've said just ring in my ears, " you're a manipulative liar", "you're annoying" , "you're making me be depressed". I just feel like I can't tell the people I'm close to my problems in fear they'll tell everyone or it'll affect them in a negative way. I can't tell my boyfriend bc then he'll just say "stop being sad" and I can't tell my mom bc she'll use it against me, tell everyone and not believe me. My dad just doesn't know what this is like and depend on my mom. My sister and brother just don't listen. I tried getting a therapist where I get my meds but they're all overbooked. I feel like no one ever believes me so I just suffer in silence but its just getting to be too much. I just don't know how long I can keep on going like this without relapsing to sh or just giving up. I Just feel like a burden and when I don't I feel like no one around me will listen. I just don't trust myself anymore.