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I need some answers here. I need to text my cousin back after I triggered her without realising and I peed her off and she’s peed me off and made me feel like I did something terribly wrong even tho I haven’t. Our relationship is also up and down. I have told my mum, best friend and my cousin who’s also part of lgbtq that I’ve been questioning my sexuality. She was very accepting and helped me as was very nice but my auntie was horrible to her when she came out and she took it out on me last night. Kinda complicated but basically I asked her in a half sarcastic but also wondering way whether I came across straight or not. She then had a go at me telling me this was “nothing to joke about” etc etc for an entire essay. She told me her coming out was hell and etc. so she took out her terrible time and the fact that I can joke about it with ppl that know and with myself bc nobody’s abusing me or not accepting. I know she wants the best for me but her inner trauma of it all really came out quite aggressively on me last night and idk how to reply. I’ve seen millions of gay ppl joke about their sexuality so I know I haven’t done anything wrong I just have very supportive ppl and it’s more chill for me aside from the inner confusion and stress. Anyone got any opinions on this? I feel angry at her for having a go at me like that and trying to tell me what I can and can’t do but I also understand that’s coming from her inner trauma as I’ve seen how my auntie treats her and has always treated her. (My auntie doesn’t know about me)
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Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Chronic Irritability and Anger
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282d
It sucks that people project their trauma and regrets onto you. I hate it when people do that to me so I try very hard not to do that. I experience people projecting their shit onto me. For me, it's for a different reason, but the same actions nonetheless. Usually projection is a form of saying without saying "I hate that I had bad experiences and that you have had good experiences with this so therefore I blame you for what I went through". Is it shitty? Yes Do people do it? Yes Do people care while doing this? Usually no unfortunately what you can do is give your cousin some time to cool down then after that, text her back saying "I'm so sorry for what I said to be angry with me. I didn't realize that what I said to you made you so angry. Maybe I can make it up to you somehow?"
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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It's important to acknowledge your cousin's feelings and her past experiences while also expressing your own perspective. You could reply by saying that you understand her reaction comes from her inner trauma, but you didn't mean any harm with your comment. Explain that your experience has been different so far, and you're still figuring things out. Reassure her that you value her support and advice, and you'll be more mindful of her feelings in the future.
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