Dealing with Pregnancy Loss and Accusations of Infanticide

I haven't really been active in a while, and I feel like now is a great time to be. In September I found out I was a few weeks pregnant, my boyfriend and I were hella excited. October 19th rolled around, and that's when the ultrasound was, I cried when I heard the heartbeat. also on that day, I had expressed that I needed more insulin because I was on my last pen, the doctor wanted to switch my insulin but neglected to inform us that that shit was almost $700 and neither of us had that kind of money. November 1st comes around, and I had been throwing up, the first times I had been throwing up since we found out I was pregnant, so I didn't assume it was morning sickness, and I was right. I was once again admitted to the hospital for DKA. Early morning on November 2nd, I was told that my baby didn't have a heartbeat, and later that night I passed my baby. November 3rd, they had to go in and get the umbilical cord. I had signed over for the hospital to dispose of the baby, I had done this because a) I was scared, and b) I was physically alone(my boyfriend hadn't shown up yet, and I had been there for 2 days already by myself), and because of this my boyfriend says he and his mother believe I killed the baby on purpose because I expressed I was scared/nervous, and it just so happen that the next day I ran out of insulin. he also believes that I killed the baby on purpose, believing that the baby wasn't his. the fact that he would even think that hurts, all of it hurts me. because I don't know why he would believe that I would actually do that. it hurts, guys. everything hurts.