Struggling with Loss After Abortion: Need Support

Hey, guys, brief content warning I'm discussing mental illness in relation to pregnancy termination. I recently had to get an abortion because my fiance was moving for work and I had recently been back in the psychiatric hospital, and couldn't go with him because I'm currently in my senior year of college. Neither of us really wanted to do this, but ultimately we decided it was for the best and that we couldn't take care of a little one with everything going on. Even so, I'm really struggling with the sense of loss I feel. I don't feel like I'm allowed to grieve in the same way as a mother who has had a miscarriage, because I made a choice. I wish I could chalk it up to guilt or regret but it feels like more than that. My depression has been particularly bad between this and the separation between myself and my fiance. It's a difficult adjustment and things will probably be like this at least for a year. He wants to be here to comfort and take care of me more than anything, but work just doesn't allow it. I can't travel either because I'm juggling a part-time job and school, and the whole situation just feels massively isolating.