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grantaire

703d

I've wanted to die since before I can remember, but I can't because of the people that care about me. It bothers me so much that I have to stay alive, I mean if they really cared about me wouldn't they want me to be happy and dead? It makes me feel really guilty that I sometimes even wish my loved ones would die so that I can be free. And every time I talk about my suicidality to someone I get the "you are not alone" angle and it makes me feel so much worse. I know it's just my self hatred talking but I feel like such an awful person for wanting to die. Does anyone deal with guilt like that? Is there anything I can do about it?

    • beingnotseeming

      702d

      I’m fortunate to have people around me that understand my suicidal ideation but I’ve experienced guilt regardless. I think it’s important to keep in mind that people have very rigid views on death and suicide a lot of the time. They don’t want to face that sometimes death is a genuine path to take in life. People that truly understand your suffering will understand your thoughts and feelings on this. Quality of life over quantity of life is my go to saying. It’s not fair to expect people to suffer every single day because of the notion that the longest life possible is always the best option. Sending support your way. I hope you’re able to work through you guilt around this. It’s a rough place to be in🖤

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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