Dealing with a Narcissistic Partner: My Struggle

@Gwen71 sadly, this is not my first relationship with a narcissist, it's not even my first marriage to one. I don't really count the first one though, it was so young and naive and didn't know much. Of course narcissism is on a spectrum, my ex husband was much much worse than my husband is. My husband can even admit that he has narcissistic tendencies. I'm just drawn to them and they are to me. Turns out that a lot of empaths are married to them. It's just in our nature for whatever reason.

@Orange5 it wouldn't hurt so much if he could just empathize and understand that what I'm telling him he's doing is the truth and not me just putting him down or whatever other reason he can come up with. I'm not attacking him, I'm fighting for OUR relationship because I'm afraid one day I might leave him, and I don't want that. He has had a lot of trauma in his life, started at a very early age and I can see that it still effects him. But he's unwilling to go to counseling or anything else. I don't know how much fighting I have left in me, but I'll keep going til I can't anymore. I have endured a lot of pain simply because it would hurt me not having him with me than it would to keep things the way they are. I've suffered through the bad because I know the good is so much more. I love him more than I care about my own happiness, I know it's not right and it's not healthy, but it's the truth. I just wish he loved me enough to not let me suffer through it.