Struggling with Marriage and Mental Health: Need Guidance

Someone please help give me some guidance on how to handle my marriage and life right now. My ex and I have been going through a court case for the past year over issues with visitation for my daughter. He is a highly narcissistic and abusive person and has caused endless pain in mine and my family’s life. During this past year I have been falling apart as a lot of people in the legal system have not cared about the way he is acting. You can tell some are just money hungry or victim blaming. My mental health isn’t great. I have lots of thoughts wishing I wasn’t even existent anymore as he still continues to ruin my life. My heart rate is just constantly up as the court date approaches. I’ve heard so many horrible things said to me during this process that it tears me down even more. My adhd is so “flared” and I have trouble doing daily house chores so the house gets messy. My anxiety, depression, binge eating disorder and ptsd are also up. Some days I feel like I can’t function at all and even dropped out of college this year. I put all my energy into being a mom and getting my work done so I don’t have anything left by the time I need to do cleaning or something else. My husband has helped take over the chores and this whole time I thought he was really understanding and taking care of me but now I am told he has been holding a grudge this entire time and is angry that I don’t do enough around the house. So now I’m stuck here feeling broken. My husband says that he is the one who has to put his mental health issues to the side to get things in order all the time. I keep telling him the fact that he has the ability to do that in the first place means that he is in a better place than I am. He thinks because we both have mental health issues that somehow that makes us equals but my symptoms are more severe and take over so he doesn’t get it. I have to deal with this case with my ex and now feel unloved by my husband. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone and worthless.