I had a bad night last night. It was a rush of old memories and trauma one after another. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt my whole body shutting down and contemplated suicide. I immediately got on the suicide prevention chat which I was in line forever and didn't get to talk to anyone. I just laid there, I couldn't even cry. It sucks dealing with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I have no circle of support. There's no one who can understand what I have been through. I read something this morning and it said, "It's ok not to be ok." That made me feel ok. It's ok to have bad days, it's ok not to be ok all the time. I don't know if I will ever get any better but I'm trying.



Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Anxiety (Including GAD)

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  • AmberV


    I'm so sorry. I can definitely relate to what you're dealing with, as I am dealing with similar stuff. I have been trying to get better, but my progress feels so slow. I think it's important that we do realize that we are trying and that there is hope.

    • MisunderstoodWidow


      I have days where I think everything is going to be ok and lots of bad days that just blocks me from getting better.



    My doc put me on a med called Metoprolol. It's super safe, and technically for high blood pressure, but it can also be taken at the onset of a panic attack, and while it does not stop the thoughts in your head, it stops your body from manifesting those physical signs of anxiety, increased blood pressure, shortness of breath, tight chest, etc. It's been super helpful for me. As for the bad nights, they still come, but thanks to THC gummies, I sleep a lot better and have a lot fewer nightmares. And please do remember, it's ok to not be ok 💜

    • dooby


      tankgirl i was on metoprolol and had a allergic reaction to it. I have many eplisey,heart issue,and something called gilbert syrdome,gilbert sydrome has to do with you liver. I try to be very carful with the medication i take. I am on two medications now and i must get a blood test for one of them.

  • klazikel


    I'm in this group and we tend to remind each other that when we're having an attack, we've been there before , made it through and will do it again. That's our strength. Your strength. How you make it through again and again is a testament to that. Please give yourself grace for the fight you live with day to day and definitely remember it's ok not to be ok.

  • Mimini


    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been in a similar place not so long ago, and sadly, maybe again soon. I really love what @klazikel said. I hope I can remember it when I need it.💕

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