Dealing with Class Differences in Relationships

@niki_madeline i don't mean them paying rent will stop him from going to therapy, but rather just allowing him to not get a job. They're just enabling him to remain stagnant rather than having that push to Do something, like seeing a therapist and getting a job. It just feels like it's allowing him to remain a child despite being almost 21 and it's frustrating also being put in the position of his parent rather than partner because I'm cleaning everything and cooking everything because he won't (which I'm realizing is also enabling him more than helping, so I've started to stop doing all the cleaning because i have my own place to keep clean, but this means his place is rarely cleaned now). It's just a lot, and growing up poor with neglectful parents i just don't understand how someone can have this attitude and not do anything about it

I’m confused on what the parents paying rent has to do with him seeking therapy or not?

You are resilient and need a man as resilient. I am dating a bf with bpd and I realized he’s an ingrate, and bc we value life differently, he’s open to breaking things and neglecting his relationships. I don’t have tolerance for this and I am coming to terms with, that no matter how much I love him, we don’t understand life the same way and I will continue to be upset when he destroys our home and funds and ability to live together with financial stability. I think it’s important to meet and be around those who care about the things you do deeply

He currently doesn't have a job because he gets into pretty bad depressive episodes, but he has access to therapy he doesn't use and i just feel like his parents paying his rent is only going to prevent him from getting the help he needs :/

You can always put down an ultimatum and say, “if this relationship is serious and you see us together in the future, I need you to demonstrate that to me through your actions by getting a job.” You can list some of the benefits of having a job/internship like building up a resume and learning what he’s good at. - a fellow gal whose boyfriend played a lot of video games in college and only worked during the summer lol. This is what I said to him, and he listened and followed through!

Hi, I am a fellow poor person here😎 it is a bit frustrating that people with money don't understand the life they have been given, all the things they don't even think about that we dreamed about having one day. But you have to remind yourself, they've never been in our position. They can't wrap their minds around living a life without, y'know? Like how we won't can't imagine living life without worrying over if we have enough money to eat for the day or keep a roof over our heads. I think you should try talking through your feelings with your boyfriend to try and better see things from each others perspective and meet in the middle somewhere