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tryingmybardest

748d

I read a quote that resonates with me recently. It’s about BPD. “Imagine you have emotions so intense that it physically disables you. Now on top of that; feeling shame, embarrassment, and guilt for even having the emotions in the first place.” This is possibly the best way I’ve seen it described, considering how it affects me personally. I’ve met far too many people, healthcare providers included, that treat folks with BPD like shit because it’s a more “difficult” disorder to deal with. I feel like somehow it’s lost on almost everyone that BPD is a trauma-born disorder so the way we are demonized in a lot of media is only that much more harmful. Plus, if someone without it considers it “difficult to deal with”, imagine how it must feel for those of us who live with it everyday. Has anyone else felt like once you share this specific diagnosis, people treat you differently and tend to demonize your behaviors?

    • PurpleSkrillex

      747d

      I only have ever found that people judge me and my actions, I always judge them, but they judge no matter what. They'll always presume in any formal or informal argument that I'm getting mad. I have to tell them I'm not getting mad, they say in defensive and so I can't continue to say anything. So I try to illustrate that they just put me into a corner but then they normally get mad bc I'm speaking down to them at this point and yea... That's my take on every conversation that shows how people will just demonize me. I love how you used the quote. To describe that BPD people have triggers and emotions, and even emotions about those emotions really shows how complicated shit gets. I struggle every day to not over analyze things and care so deeply. But emotions are passions a desire a craving, it's a necessity for me to feel the dopamine of an action bc what else would living be... But GOD do I have to fucking deal with embarrassment and shame for every action I take... Like I have this boss that hoovers and tells me to work harder, so every second at work I feel incompetent and like I'm a failure... And everytime he comes up to talk to me it's a fight to control myself

      • tryingmybardest

        747d

        @PurpleSkrillex I’m so sorry that you’ve dealt with that. That’s the kind of stuff that only makes it that much worse. It sounds like people in your life use your diagnosis to only invalidate you further which of course, is the last thing anyone with BPD needs. I’m really glad this platform exists, so far I’ve found so much validation and it’s only been a few hours. Have you had the same experience?

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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