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xxlostgirl

672d

For those of you with BPD…What’s your experience with having an FP? Was the relationship toxic or healthy? Is there away to keep from developing one? And also is it possible to have a healthy relationship with an FP?

Top reply
    • Rainyblue673

      665d

      I have an fp and it's not even close to healthy. I made my daughter my fp. I have her built so high its ridiculous. This past year she started therapy and has developed strong boundaries now our relationship is changing and because I love my daughter and want us to be healthy. So I have started to be pend on an old friend from high school and because of therapy I'm not attaching too bad.

    • Rainyblue673

      665d

      I have an fp and it's not even close to healthy. I made my daughter my fp. I have her built so high its ridiculous. This past year she started therapy and has developed strong boundaries now our relationship is changing and because I love my daughter and want us to be healthy. So I have started to be pend on an old friend from high school and because of therapy I'm not attaching too bad.

    • sick_desire

      671d

      I don't want to sound stupid but I want to be informed but what is FP?

      • xxlostgirl

        671d

        @sick_desire btw don’t worry. You don’t sound stupid. It’s good to ask questions when you don’t know. It helps us learn! So no worries. You’re good. 😊

      • xxlostgirl

        671d

        @sick_desire FP stands for Favorite Person. It’s a person that the pwBPD laches to. They become their source of happiness, fulfillment, they use them to self regulate. But the problem is we become extremely sensitive to them. So any thing they do can quickly make us either soar high or make us come crashing down. We also tend to split on them a lot. Like put them in a pedestal and idolize them but then suddenly they can become the devil incarnate. It tends to be toxic. It’s definitely not good for the person with BPD. I personally have one but I’m trying my best to navigate it and switch it to something less toxic. Because I believe we could have a healthy relationship. Because he’s a very strong minded person and he holds his boundaries. The problem is me. I keep trying to lean on him for everything. But I’m starting to get better. I had a complete melt down this week and though I turned to him. I didn’t start WW3 with him like usual. I was more able to regulate myself. From my understanding they say it’s not possible to have a relationship with an FP and it not be toxic. But I’m gonna try my best.

    • aevyn

      671d

      I've had 2 FPs in my life. The first was forced to cut off all contact with me by their parents, and then they moved away. I had no contact with them for 2 years, and then we were able to get back in contact through instagram. We talk occasionally now. I still have dreams about them, and compare everyone else to them. The second 1 ditched me when I had a depressive episode, and we didn't really stay in contact after. I have a lot of trouble becoming close with people now, and I generally don't form long lasting relationships or stay in touch with people well. I'm scared to give myself fully to others for fear I will get rejected or abandoned.

    • AriEden

      672d

      in my experience, no, but that's on me. I've had this one person as a low key fp (because I limit my interaction with them) for nearly 10 years and last time I saw them they talked to someone else before me and I started sobbing immediately. but again, that's me, and me not currently or at the time seeing a therapist.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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