Struggling with Alcoholism and Irritated by Concerned Friends

Yes the struggle will always be real. But they love and care about you. Trust and believe if I didn't have my daughter scolding me for drinking I'd be alot worse. And for me the more I drink the more I want to do or get drugs and stuff. I have been off of drugs for several years now but still think about them every day... this and that but I know low key it's just the drugs talking and I yell back in my head that that's not me and I don't need them. Yes it will 'help' for a short while bit it's a really bad band-aid that only hurts more in the long run. I still have a major problem spending money though. It used to keep me from getting drugs cause I didn't have the money. And it's kinda the comfort I need sometimes. Amazon addict now. I'm hoping to cut it off this month and bought a bunch of stupid stuff to say good bye. Or that's what I tell myself. It's good to have friends who understands you in every way so they can look put for you even though you don't think you need it... that's typically the substance. I used to get really mad @ my daughter and really yell at her when she got mad @ me. I feel terrible about it and have apologized countless times but it never makes it right. And lol she started acting like my mom @ like 8 and she's only 12 now. She's very independent I have raised her well and she wants the best for me. She only knows of my drinking though. I couldn't hide that.