Am I Just a Coping Mechanism?

I'm in a QPR relationship and have a serious monogamous partner and this has led to us having lots of conversations about boundaries and what is and isn't okay. In our relationship we set the standard that we should never ask something of each other the other couldn't ask of us, so first off I think you should have a serious conversation about boundaries and comfort zones, but also I don't think it's wrong to ask that the relationship ends if you are distressed by it, so long as you would be willing to abstain from or leave your own qpr. I can say this with confidence because if my partner asked that of me, I would understand that he is my priority and so are his feelings, and while I love my QPR buddy, we can also be friends and I would be much happier to have my QPR buddy as a friend and my partner safe and comfortable, since I need to do my best to keep him safe and happy. It isn't too much to ask, especially for you since your discomfort us even more reasonable since your SO's QPR buddy is their ex

I wish I could give you a hug right now 💕 First of all love yourself! Value yourself! Do not determine your worth based on what others may think of you. If you feel like you're just a rebound express how you feel. Let him know you wanna be intimate with him, tell him about all the things you wanna do. Then ask him for help. Take baby steps. Do intimate things in small steps and as you go take bigger steps as you feel more comfortable. If you decide to do this let your partner know so he understands you want to and you are trying. You are worth way more then you give yourself credit for do not compare yourself to his ex. Stop bearing yourself up okay? If you like the same things your bf into that's great! Don't think your any less important or special just because his ex likes it too. You are different so you will do it in your own unique way and that's probably why your boyfriend is into you, because you do it in your own way. I know this is scary I understand I would best myself up forever over this. How does he treat you? Does he treat you like he only wants to have sex ? Do you guys do anything together besides sexual things? I've been through something like this too and I know how hard it is to try and explain