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bean12

662d

so recently ive been going through a depressive episode with my bi polar, and its made my already low sex drive, almost non existent. and my girlfriend is a very sexual person and she is thinking im no longer attracted to her, and that i dont love her anymore. which is definitely not true at all. anyways, she asked me about opening up our relationship so she can fufill her ‘sexual needs’. and it scares me because in my previous relationship he wanted to open up the relationship so he could have more girlfriends. ive just about gone into a ptsd panic attack because of the memories and trauma that went on in my previous relationship. im not opposed to having an open relationship, i just am insecure that im not good enough for her. what can i do to help my ptsd and anxiety about loosing her to someone better?

Top reply
    • AnimalBoy

      660d

      Polyamory can work out but it's incredibly important for all parties to be comfortable, trust each partner, have and know the ground rules/boundaries for each person, and be able to communicate their needs and discomfort pretty much constantly. Going very very slowly might help but if you're this uncomfortable, and more importantly triggered, already it may be a genuine compatibility issue especially if you struggle with communicating this stuff to her or vice versa. It may be a good idea to bring up all your concerns and the reasons why this doesn't seem to be a good option for your relationship and try to figure out a different solution for the difference in your sex drive. You do not deserve to have your comfort and mental health compromised in your relationship just because you have a lower sex drive. Good luck.

    • AnimalBoy

      660d

      Polyamory can work out but it's incredibly important for all parties to be comfortable, trust each partner, have and know the ground rules/boundaries for each person, and be able to communicate their needs and discomfort pretty much constantly. Going very very slowly might help but if you're this uncomfortable, and more importantly triggered, already it may be a genuine compatibility issue especially if you struggle with communicating this stuff to her or vice versa. It may be a good idea to bring up all your concerns and the reasons why this doesn't seem to be a good option for your relationship and try to figure out a different solution for the difference in your sex drive. You do not deserve to have your comfort and mental health compromised in your relationship just because you have a lower sex drive. Good luck.

    • KaelaAnn

      661d

      I see where your coming from but it seems they only want you for sex and not who you truly are and you don't deserve that. You deserve to be loved as a whole not just your sexual needs. For example I thought my wife only wanted me for sex cause her sex drive is high but I can go without it because if Truma and ptsd but we talked and found out that out loyalty and trust and communication is more important than having sex all the time so I agree with everyone try talking to her about it. Good luck!

    • Sunflower.System

      661d

      I was in a similar boat with my ex gf. In the end we just weren't two compatible people because our priorities were different at the time. Sex is an absolute must for me and at the time I needed things to not be all about that. She even started getting mad at me when I would turn down sex (red flag). We opened up our relationship to a third person but she wanted specific rules. She ended up cheating with said third, by breaking the main rule that she set. Now years later, I've been in her shoes. I've had a male ex turn down sex repeatedly because his PTSD and stress levels were too high to even think about it. I waited for about 3 months, then he agreed to let me see others (no strings only). After about 5 months of that I missed having the whole package from one person and I broke things off with my ex. I wanted one primary person to be able to provide the emotional and sexual connection. I have nothing against an occasional third for us if my partner wants, but I personally require most my needs being met from one person. Everyone works different though! This is just my experience

    • lolo1576

      662d

      i understand where you’re coming from, i’ve been in a similar situation. for me personally, having open communication was key. tell her about your anxieties and reassure her that you still love her. but if you feel like she’s only into you because of sex, maybe having a convo about that would be a good approach too… i wish you the best of luck!! i hope you get things figured out!!

    • BaileyFawn

      662d

      i would just come to terms that they don't live you as an individual and leave them... if all they care about is Sex, and not your presence , then they only care about physical appearance... you don't want someone like that in your life... you've gotta cut them loose and bait your hook with better bait... try a more professional approach...

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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