ADHD and Relationships: How it Affected My Recent Breakup

I had a relationship where i was constantly told i didnt show love correctly, i didnt apologize correctly, i didnt react to him correctly. Told me he didnt think of me as his boyfriend anymore while we were still dating. All the while i was putting 120% of myself in, to an obsessive degree, all because he wanted more, or something different that i could not give. It ruined the way I thought about myself for a while. Only after spending mass amounts of time with other people with adhd/autism did i start to find myself again, and find that i do have love to give.

It's put a huge strain on my work relationships, but me and my boyfriend have come to terms with my adhd symptoms. It does make things stressful but he understands and we work through it.

It impacts my relationships somewhat and I much prefer to only have friends and partners who have it. I don’t feel it’s fair for people to expect me to apologize for being “absent minded.” I refuse to. I think it shows up most when I need to have an angry outburst. No one understands it like other ADHD people. Bc I chose other ADHDers as partners and friends, I find we are able to hold space for each other’s bursts of anger and irritation rather than demonize each other or fear it. We are able to check in on each other and move on and not make it a “thing.”

If they don't want to help you in your individual journey as a person with this condition, they really need to get with the program! That's part of being in a decent relationship, I've come to realize!

Yes it impacts mine, we have still been together for close to a decade. I wasn't diagnosed until recently but it was getting bad because my hyperactive side gets me tunnel focused on something until it's done. I won't sleep, i won't eat, i won't talk to anyone, and i can stay up almost 48 hours before finally crashing. But I'm also inattentive where i easily lose focus, i can't remember things, i hear things differently than what was actually said. My partner felt like i was ignoring him and it came up a lot and made him insecure, thinking i didn't love him. I mentioned it to my psychiatrist and she eventually diagnosed me with ADHD hyperactive and inattentive. I've been talking to my husband more about what's going on for me and telling him skills I'm working on to help me focus, he occasionally does say i got diagnosed just to have an excuse, but that's more emotional and i did literally just get diagnosed so i even I'm still learning about it and myself so i know he'll come around, but i also know I've found someone who wants to work things out. We point out issues and discuss them and come up with solutions for them. We've been through a lot and statistically we should have been divorced five years ago. You just haven't found the one willing to work with you, you will. They are out there.

I’m asexual but I speak from the perspective of a child of a parent with ADHD and PTSD. My dad was extremely impulsive and had no filter and then he kinda cheated on my mom and eventually after I turned 18 he divorced my mom. I’m not really mad at my dad anymore, my parents got married when they were teenagers because my mom was pregnant with me so they probably shouldn’t got married in the first place but my dad has a lot of other issues but he means no harm and he did alot for me. The more annoying part though is he refused to get help until recently, it seems since he knows he has a problem he’s gotten alot better. He kinda regrets what he did in the past but I told him to not dwell in the past.

I've learned over the years that my partners and friends need to know my ADD as part of my unique personality.. Learn to love yourself and they will too!

My spouse and I are packing up all our shit to move cross country. They’ve been getting really frustrated with me because I just can’t compartmentalize what I need to do, let alone focus on anything. I just got a new med that I’m hoping will help

If they leave they werent meant for us thats how we see it

Honestly, my ex was a dirtbag (this is the nicest thing I could say on him tbh) and he was very shitty to me because of my autism, ADHD, POTS, PTSD, and anxiety, (all the conditions he knew about) and would insult and even hurt me over them and take my meds away which hurt a lot and damaged me. I'm glad I left his ass. (And I only scratched the surface of his behaviour). So it's not you or your condition that is ever the issue. It's the other person.