Managing ASD and Relationships: Tips Needed

First make sure that you and your partner understand about ASD and all it's ups and downs, understand that while you may have your own special mix, something's may be different, also understand that somethings may change, and some may never change. You used to love snuggles in the morning, all of a sudden, you feel like your being suffocated by a grizzly bear when anyone, including your love, hugs you longer than 2 seconds, you've tried for years to at least tolerate for a few hours sand against your skin so that the two of you can go to the beach cause he loves it. And while you may have gotten to go longer periods, you will never ever like it. You also need to understand that some stuff is acceptable with the autism and some is not. I'm not trying to put you down but an example I can give is this. I'm both ADHD and Autistic and I have the tendency to latch on to " artistic projects" sewing stuffies, coloring books, coloring hair, I also collect stuffed animals. My husband doesn't mind me doing that an encourages it. But if I'm not reigned in, I will let a counter pile up with dirty dishes for days because I've been so focused on sewing, I will spend $100s and $100s of dollars on material within a day or two and then repeat cause I simply see something I like and my excited brain goes " buy buy buy buy" so I've gotten in major trouble and it's understandable, it's not that my husband is controlling, or that he tells me I can't do any of the things I enjoy doing, but he does keep an eye on the credit card and if he says ok no more fabric for a month, you have plenty, I need to try really hard not to buy anymore. Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I slip. I guess it all really depends on you, your relationship, your ASD, your personality and theirs, you have to work through what you can, compromise, sacrifice, love and understand on both ends

I found that utilizing traits like info dumping helps with communication. I'll just text my boyfriend random thoughts, videos from insta, a story, or a cool thing that I saw or did. I basically dump my brain on him, which ofc helps maintain communication and prompts conversations. It also helps that he's super welcoming and loves open communication bc he wants everything to work well. I had him follow adhd/asd insta pages so I don't have to explain things (poorly), and I do my best to tell him about why I feel certain ways or do certain things in a way that makes sense to him, with analogies and stuff like that. I'm super proud, bc last night I buddy taped my pinkie to my ring finger bc I could feel my pinkie too much, and after I told him it wasn't bc I was hurt, his next question was 'is it bc of sensory issues?' It was!!

How do you even start a relationship? I feel like I would have to tell the person on the first date about my Asperger's to see if they would dismiss me right away or maybe give me a chance. I also can't have children of my own and I really don't want kids. I feel like I would have to tell them that right away on the first date so they know and we can avoid starting a relationship if they have different plans for their lives. I also feel like I'll never be able to date anyone who hasn't known me since I was a teenager because they won't understand me.😞

my experience def isn't gonna be universal, because I mask really heavily (to the point where people getting to know me swear I must be an extrovert), but I find that being open and honest works a lot better than I've been led to believe. I tell people that I don't have very much of a social battery, and with the people I'm close to I tell them when I'm confused about the conversation instead of trying to muddle through. recently I've let go of a lot of the pressure to make a "good" (read: neurotypical) first impression, and I am a lot less performative when hanging out with people. it's made me a lot more comfortable, which means that I'm able to make sure my friends understand who I am from the beginning and I'm a lot less burned out by it.

Before I answer, relationships including romantic relationships, or family and friends relationships?