I’m tired of living in shades of grey. Meds don’t even help, they just take away the rare moments of manic highs that are the only time I feel close to normal. They make everything more grey. I’m faking my way through life acting like I’m alright but I really wanna unalive my self and I can’t for the life of me(litterly) figure out why. I’m engaged to a wonderful person,I’m in college getting a degree on something I love, my chronic illnesses have relented some. I guess my past just broke me beyond a point one can heal from. I just really don’t want to be here anymore, I’m never going to act on it but somehow that makes me worse.

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Complex post traumatic stress disorder

Adult psychological abuse


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  • sethlife99


    Feel free to message me we can get through life together

  • LotusFlower


    I feel our past is always the root of the problem. It is a process that is n not going to be easy, but you will get through it. I invested in a couple of work books from Amazon that help with healing. Mine was inner child healing and with that I have been able to identify a few of my triggers. And I'm able to cope better when I am triggered. I'm going to be reading that and my Chakra book today while I'm off from work and doing some yoga today as well. I feel like I'm in a constant battle mentally again. I've been in this space you're in and you will make it through. Thank you for continuing to fight those thoughts and choices. One thing that has helped me, is to voice out when I have a bad thought. I will say that I need to step away from something because I just had a not so nice thought. Or I will say I just had a bad thought, I'm going to lie down. Then I focus on my breathing and I read my daily Chakra affirmation aloud and it helps calm me. So I hope this helps you with some ideas to continue through this life 🤗💕

  • kay3


    Have you talked to your doctor of switching meds? Do you see a therapist to work through your past? Sorry your going through this i know ots hard. One day at a time

  • Kashew221


    I'm sorry if my reply is not welcome, as I struggle with Schizophrenia, not PTSD, but I've found meds do not help me either, literally make me so much worse and unhappy. I'm at no status to tell anyone not to take meds, but I feel as though with some serious mental diseases it's not awful to suggest that you try not taking them for a week if you're fed up with the loop of trying different meds with no or worse results. This feels like the more out there suggestion, but I've heard of a lot of people using medical psychoactive drugs(similar to lsd) in clinical therapy with much success. It's not a guarantee or right for everyone, but I believe there are clinics around the U.S. now, and I'd personally do it if it worked for schizophrenia. DISCLAIMER: Do not take any psychoactive substance with the intention of solving trauma without the help of a medical professional, and a prescription to do so.. please

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